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Art of Relationships:
When You've Lost Desire
How to Deal with Jealousy
Ready to Date Again? How to Tell

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Have You Ever Been Set Up?
Chris_WebMD_Staff posted:

Have you ever set up a blind date or have been set up one one? What was the outcome?

Life is too short, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
Author Unknown
BalconyBelle responded:
In a horrifically awkward event, my fiance tried to set me up with one of his friends.

We'd separated/gone on a break about two months before, and I thought we were just going to hang out with one of his pals--trying to salvage our past friendship, if nothing else. He believed he'd blown any chance he had with me, so he tried to set me up with who he believed was the better man. He dropped me off, then basically left the two of us alone to see if we'd hit it off.

I didn't know what was going on, and his friend didn't either...and we were both rather horrified when we learned what the evening's purpose was. His friend liked me--but he knew who I was, and knew my (then ex) fiance still loved me, so he refused point blank to consider me as anything more than a friend.

I waited until the friend left, then ripped into him. I resented feeling like a party favor that he felt okay to pass around. I was furious that he'd ever acted on his insane plan. I was hurt & in disbelief that he honestly believed two months would be long enough for me to see anyone in a romantic light during a break in a two year relationship. I was appalled that this was his reaction to my requests that he change some of the behaviors that had hurt me, and then we could give our relationship another try. I read it as him essentially telling me I wasn't worth the effort, so he'd tried to pass me on to the next man down the line. I told him yet again that I hadn't given up on him, or on us, but that tonight he'd shown me he'd given up on himself.

My blow up left him speechless. Apparently, he'd never considered I actually meant it when I said we needed a break, and once he showed me he was improving, I'd be willing to try again. He thought it was my way of letting him down easy instead of just telling him it was over for good. We had a long talk after that--sort of a mutual clearing of the air, and after another two months of being on a break (during which time he actively worked on improving), we were back together.
IslandL responded:
Yes. The dates were okay, though never became a "love connection". What bothered me a bit was that the friend who set me up seemed more invested in the outcome than I was. When I told her things about him that turned me off, I got the impression she felt perturbed that I didn't like him as much as she thought I would/should lol.

I think a better way to introduce two people you think might hit it off is just to have them over, along with a number of others. No pressure. No investment in the outcome on anyone's part.
Chris_WebMD_Staff replied to BalconyBelle's response:
Belle that was a crummy way to get set up! If he'd only asked you to being with, all of that awkwardness would have been avoided! Besides you would have said no! Yet, it did bring you two back to talk and work things out, funny how life works out huh?

Thank you for sharing!

Life is too short, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
Author Unknown
Chris_WebMD_Staff replied to IslandL's response:
It's true what you said about the people that do the setting up. They take it personally!!

Having a social night out with a group of people, hoping some might hit it off is a great idea and a better approach, I agree!
Thank you for sharing!

Life is too short, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
Author Unknown
tmlmtlrl replied to IslandL's response:
Hi IslandL, nice to see you around still!

I was set up on a blind date once! My best friend met him through a guy she was dating. At the time I wasn't really interested in dating, but I agreed to go out on a group date so as to reduce the awkwardness. I also decided to take it in stride and just go for the fun of it.

Long story short, we had a GREAT night and are married today
IslandL replied to tmlmtlrl's response:
Good story tml .
tlkittycat1968 responded:
I've been on two blind dates that didn't produce anything. My aunt tried to set me up with a guy she worked with. We had dinner but there weren't any sparks. A friend tried to set me up with a friend of her and her husband and again, nothing. We had one double date and the one time we tried to get together just the two of us I blew. I was sick and took Nyquil so I could sleep and ended up oversleeping. I tried calling him but he'd already left.

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