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Dismissing my feelings
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nochanceforgiggles posted:
I am going through this problem right now with my new husband. Why I didn't see the signs in the beginning I don't know but now it's obvious he has no regards to my feelings. Whenever I attempt to discuss a topic or situation with him; if it is something he doesn't want to talk to about. He flat out tells me that no one is going to tell him about.....it's non-negotiable.
I told him that our relationship is based on two people not one and that we both need to have a common ground on things that affect our relationship and our interaction with each other.
He is one way with me around people at our jobs (same building, different jobs) and another way with me at home.
I can't continue to live this way and need help or suggestions.
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3point14 responded:
If you're with someone who won't listen to you, isn't who you thought they were, and treats you totally differently from how they treat everyone else, it sounds like you were manipulated and should most likely get out.

What do you fight about? How did you think he was at first? How does he behave at work vs. how he behaves with you?
 
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Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD responded:
You sound miserable. You also sound like this might be serious enough for you to consider divorcing. Have you communicated both things to him? Hopefully, he would care enough about you that he would be concerned about just how much this is bothering you- and hopefully that could open the topic so you can have some more two-way conversations about it. If this hasn't worked, you might consider couple therapy.


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