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Faced with a low sex drive?
Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD posted:
I have no sex drive. I want a happy relationship, but don't want to force myself to have sex. What do I do?
This is a question I've heard many, many times over the years. While I hear it more often from women than men, both sexes struggle with this dilemma. Some common causes are relationship issues, side effects from medicine, physically painful intercourse, emotional issues with having sex, and the effects of age.
Have you or your partner experienced a low sex drive? If so, what caused it? And, how did you handle the situation? For this and all of Dr. Becker-Phels blogs, please visit her Art of Relationships Blog.
This is a question I've heard many, many times over the years. While I hear it more often from women than men, both sexes struggle with this dilemma. Some common causes are relationship issues, side effects from medicine, physically painful intercourse, emotional issues with having sex, and the effects of age.
Have you or your partner experienced a low sex drive? If so, what caused it? And, how did you handle the situation? For this and all of Dr. Becker-Phels blogs, please visit her Art of Relationships Blog.
4 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:Faced with a low sex drive?<i>I have no sex drive. I want a happy relationship, but don't want to force myself to have sex. What do I do?</i><br /><br /><br />This is a question I've heard many, many times over the years. While I hear it more often from women than men, both sexes struggle with this dilemma. Some common causes are relationship issues, side effects from medicine, physically painful intercourse, emotional issues with having sex, and the effects of age.<br /><br /><br />Have you or your partner experienced a low sex drive? If so, what caused it? And, how did you handle the situation? For this and all of Dr. Becker-Phels blogs, please visit her <a href="http://blogs.webmd.com/art-of-relationships/2012/04/what-to-do-about-a-low-sex-drive.html">Art of Relationships Blog. </a>
DfromSpencer responded:
During my first, (and only) marriage, i thought i had lost interest in having sex with my wife? Turns out, i was stuck in a same ol, same ol, routine. She was not very adventurous in bed. She liked to recieve oral sex, but was afraid to give it. She was afraid i would spend myself that way. She did not like sperm in her mouth!
After talking to her about this, she just laughed it off. She did not see anything wrong with our sex life. I even asked her best friends to discretely bring the subject up, and see what they could do? Nothing, as it turned out.
Needless to say, after fifteen years of marriage, and among other things, we divorced. She would not bend, and the whole thing broke.
Please dont laugh off a problem like this. It may just spell doom ahead? Problems need to be talked through, with reason. If one fails to respond, the other will resent. Communication is the key! But if only one is doing all the talking, how do we keep that real?
Good luck to all! Dennis
After talking to her about this, she just laughed it off. She did not see anything wrong with our sex life. I even asked her best friends to discretely bring the subject up, and see what they could do? Nothing, as it turned out.
Needless to say, after fifteen years of marriage, and among other things, we divorced. She would not bend, and the whole thing broke.
Please dont laugh off a problem like this. It may just spell doom ahead? Problems need to be talked through, with reason. If one fails to respond, the other will resent. Communication is the key! But if only one is doing all the talking, how do we keep that real?
Good luck to all! Dennis
Report This| Share this:Faced with a low sex drive?During my first, (and only) marriage, i thought i had lost interest in having sex with my wife? Turns out, i was stuck in a same ol, same ol, routine. She was not very adventurous in bed. She liked to recieve oral sex, but was afraid to give it. She was afraid i would spend myself that way. She did not like sperm in her mouth!<br /> <br />After talking to her about this, she just laughed it off. She did not see anything wrong with our sex life. I even asked her best friends to discretely bring the subject up, and see what they could do? Nothing, as it turned out. <br /> <br />Needless to say, after fifteen years of marriage, and among other things, we divorced. She would not bend, and the whole thing broke.<br /> <br />Please dont laugh off a problem like this. It may just spell doom ahead? Problems need to be talked through, with reason. If one fails to respond, the other will resent. Communication is the key! But if only one is doing all the talking, how do we keep that real? <br /> <br />Good luck to all! Dennis
Thanks for chiming in, Dennis. I couldn't agree more that communication is key for this, as well as all issues that affect relationships.
Report This| Share this:Faced with a low sex drive?Thanks for chiming in, Dennis. I couldn't agree more that communication is key for this, as well as all issues that affect relationships.
orwellian responded:
My wife and I have not had intercourse since we were married about three years ago. There seem to be a number of reasons why: both of us have grown significantly overweight, we're both on psychiatric drugs, my wife now has fibromyalgia, which can make intercourse painful, and on top of that it seems to take me about 45 minutes to reach orgasm, which was getting exhausting for both of us.
I know it would help if we both lost about 50% of our body weight . And it would probably help if I went off the meds for anxiety and ADHD, which might help me reach orgasm faster. The problem is that it will take time before we get to a place where sex is comfortable and pleasurable for both of us. Unfortunately, we don't have much time; my wife and I would like to have a baby but we are already in our early 40s.
I'm starting to wonder if I should try to get my wife pregnant by having my sperm injected when she's ovulating. Can someone tell me how this works, and if it can be done inexpensively?
Thanks in advance.
I know it would help if we both lost about 50% of our body weight . And it would probably help if I went off the meds for anxiety and ADHD, which might help me reach orgasm faster. The problem is that it will take time before we get to a place where sex is comfortable and pleasurable for both of us. Unfortunately, we don't have much time; my wife and I would like to have a baby but we are already in our early 40s.
I'm starting to wonder if I should try to get my wife pregnant by having my sperm injected when she's ovulating. Can someone tell me how this works, and if it can be done inexpensively?
Thanks in advance.
Report This| Share this:Faced with a low sex drive?My wife and I have not had intercourse since we were married about three years ago. There seem to be a number of reasons why: both of us have grown significantly overweight, we're both on psychiatric drugs, my wife now has fibromyalgia, which can make intercourse painful, and on top of that it seems to take me about 45 minutes to reach orgasm, which was getting exhausting for both of us. <br /> <br />I know it would help if we both lost about 50% of our body weight . And it would probably help if I went off the meds for anxiety and ADHD, which might help me reach orgasm faster. The problem is that it will take time before we get to a place where sex is comfortable and pleasurable for both of us. Unfortunately, we don't have much time; my wife and I would like to have a baby but we are already in our early 40s. <br /> <br />I'm starting to wonder if I should try to get my wife pregnant by having my sperm injected when she's ovulating. Can someone tell me how this works, and if it can be done inexpensively? <br /> <br />Thanks in advance.
If medication is getting in the way of you reaching orgasm, I suggest that you talk with your doctor about the problem. Maybe he or she can change your meds (a better idea than going off them if your life has been impaired by anxiety and ADHD).
Also, I'm wondering if you and your wife are working on losing weight. Doing that can help you both in a number of ways -- and the one that pops into my mind is that it will help you to feel healthier and have more energy, which can be a real asset when raising children.
Good luck!
Also, I'm wondering if you and your wife are working on losing weight. Doing that can help you both in a number of ways -- and the one that pops into my mind is that it will help you to feel healthier and have more energy, which can be a real asset when raising children.
Good luck!
Report This| Share this:Faced with a low sex drive?If medication is getting in the way of you reaching orgasm, I suggest that you talk with your doctor about the problem. Maybe he or she can change your meds (a better idea than going off them if your life has been impaired by anxiety and ADHD). <br /><br />Also, I'm wondering if you and your wife are working on losing weight. Doing that can help you both in a number of ways -- and the one that pops into my mind is that it will help you to feel healthier and have more energy, which can be a real asset when raising children. <br /><br />Good luck!
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