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Did my boyfriend recently cheat on me while I was out of town for the weekend? Why do I deal with this?
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An_245109 posted:
My boyfriend and I have been together off and on for over 3 years now. We ended it for awhile due to the fact that he cheated on me with a girl from online. Our sex life has drastically diminished to nothing because he doesnt want to have sex. He tells me I have a problem because I want it ALL the time. I eventually get it after pouting for a couple days. Its always me doing all the work , he just lays there. He has had a problem with porn, watching it and taking care of himself instead of wanting sex with me. I know he still does this when im not home. Just a week ago before I went out of town for the weekend I looked at his computer histore, and sure enough lots of porn , but what concerned me was the history of looking up local hook=ups in our area! I asked him about this, and he says he just does it for fun. I just got back from out of town this morning, and I initiated sex, I went down on him and couldnt believe my EYES!!! his penis was blood red, swollen a little, around were the shaft and head come together. It also had a little bit of blood. I asked what happened, and thougth for sure it was from wild sex with someone while i was gone out of town, but he tells me " it was from playing to much with himself" , I dont know what to believe. He said he was sorry, but he was horny while I was out of town (thats a first) Please help me, I as so confused.

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ontbear responded:
Hi why are you still there, let him have what turns him on .... you find a man that will think about you and only you....
 
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whatsthepoint11 responded:
I know how you feel. My girlfriend (who just left me) only ever wanted to have sex when she was on her period (which I was not into) because her hormones were going crazy. It irritated me because I wanted it probably four or five times a week and she would MAYBE have sex with me twice and that was me doing all of the work and making sure she got off too. Then when we were done she would just get on facebook on her phone like it was nothing. It really didn't feel like making love like it should. She said sex wasn't important but my psych teacher mentioned that the two biggest reasons for needing marriage counseling were fights over how to spend money and how often to have sex. It's important.
Here is what I think... To be honest I doubt he got his penis that way from sex. Natural lubricant would have left him with very little to show for even a few crazy episodes of sex. But I don't think you should stay with him. Cheating is never ever OK and he will probably do it again. I say this because cheating is very rarely a thought out scheme to hurt someone... No, it is a motivated by primal feelings and for men cheating is opportunity driven. That's not to say all men cheat but it is to say that if he has he likely will again.
It's only what I believe you should do. People are very often cruel, but cruelty can be forgiven. Cheating destroys trust, self-esteem, security, and fouls the love you share.
 
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dfromspencer responded:
Speaking from experience, I too, have done something similar to my penis, after forceful masturbation. I take morphine for pain, and that inhibits my ability to orgasm. There have been times of two hour goes, and still no orgasm. So, it is possible he did it to himself.

However, if he cheated once, he may very well do it again, maybe not? Can you trust him, ever again? If not, then you need to move on. Trust means alot in a relationship.

Good luck, with whatever you decide to do!

Dennis
LIVE LONG, LOVE WELL!!!
 
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rohvannyn replied to dfromspencer's response:
I wonder if he has psychological or physical issues that make normal sex difficult or unsatisfying? The information given makes me think that he may have accidentally hurt himself and he might be a little embarrassed about it. It's surprisingly easy to do.
Roh

'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ


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