Relationships and Coping Community

I really feel for you because I too am now a stepmom. But as a Christian woman, I prayed long and fasted about a decision to marry my husband who had 3 children at the time 11, 14 and 15. The only reason I married him is because I received God's "OK" to do so. If you aren't a woman of faith I would think twice about marrying him. His children will always be in his life. And although he is supposed to take care of and love his children, you matter as well.

If he is not willing to compromise with you now don't expect it to start later. What you see is what you get! Yes people can change but dont bank on that and expect him to fall in line after you say "I Do". I had no problem with his kids while we were dating (nor them with me) but once we got married the junk hit the fan. His two boys were ok with everything but his 14 year old girl was horrible to me. She tried her hardest to get the other 2 to turn on me, even her dad. It was really REALLY hard the first 2 years and then we took his oldest son in for a year (our 2nd year of marriage) and that was even harder! That arrangement only lasted a year before we sent him back with his mom. To go from a single woman with no kids to a wife with 3 step children, it is difficult. It can cause A LOT of problems, resentment, hatred, unforgiveness, even depression and a feeling of loneliness. All the things that prayer and God's help helped me get through. Without it I just don't think there is a chance to have a successful marriage. There are too many factors fighting against you if you don't have Jesus in the family mix fighting for you and the good of the family.