Relationships and Coping Community

Kloudnine: Since no one has answered your question, I at least do want you to know that others are reading this; and I, for one, am happy for you

Thanks! I apprecite that very much : ) I know the threads haven't been very active lately, but I would still love to hear from others, and how they fell in love. It's been a few weeks since I met this man, but things are just getting better and better!

I just posted a thread, cause I just met a man I really enjoy myself

Well, I should have expected this, or should have known that it was too good to be true. Everything was going great until he told me that he had a female friend that he was going to see. It went from being a female friend, to an ex, and now she is a best friend, who mind you, is locked up in another state, and I was just supposed to understand and be ok with it. Everything was perfect before he left, but after he left, it was another story..no texts, no I miss you's..nothing. He was distant, and not his usual self. He made a comment to me that he felt that it had been happening all over again, the fact that his previous relationships did not work out because they could not accept the fact that he was friends with his ex, the fact that he wrote her, and also went to visit her. Well hello, what woman would be okay with that especially if you are not completely up front with her, and not only that, not being up front and giving that woman the option as to whether or not she wanted to pursue the relationship at that point! No woman wants to be second best, or an option, and definitely not placed on the back burner while you go see some ex girlfriend of yours thats in prison!!!

I should have seen it coming as I said, but you live and learn I guess right? These types of things is what makes me a stronger and wiser person, and just prepares me for the bigger and better things to come in my life. Right now I am taking this time to focus on me, and what I can do to make ME happy, and if it takes being single for a while, then so be it. At least I would rather be alone than unhappy, and to also not be someone's option. Makes me feel better to come here and vent my feelings and frustrations..thanks for reading and listening : )

Usually "most" bad things come to light , if you give them some time.

Glad you feel the way you do about the revelation. Positive attitude and sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders.

((HUGS)).

I'm sorry it's worked out this way for you. But I'm glad to hear how you are handling it. I'm sure it's hard for you now, but I hope that staying with this positive approach will bring you through. As always, we are here for you if you need support, encouragement, or just a place to vent. Take care

Over the last week or so, he has been contacting me, and says that he has had nothing but time to think, and he is sorry for the way that he handled things while he was gone out of town, and he realized what a mistake he has made by letting such a good thing go. He wants to get together this weekend and talk about things, and has literally begged me for another chance at a relationship, and to start over. He has told me that he misses me and my son, and thinks that what we have is real, and that we really have a shot at something great. I think we do as well, but at the same time, I am being very cautious, as I do not want to get hurt again, or to set myself up for failure, much less set him up for failure either because of the respect I have for him, and because of how much I care. He really does have a lot of great qualities, but then again, I can't ignore what happened either. I am not looking for justification for my actions, or looking for anyone to tell me that this is the right thing to do, or not to do, but this is more so a place for me to be able to vent since I do not have very many people to talk to, or many outlets..thanks again for listening. : )

This is a difficult situation, and I'm glad to hear that you are being cautious. I'm also glad we can be here to listen and that you find it helpful. Good luck.

I am curious, though, about your comment that you "do not have very many people to talk to, or many outlets." Do you generally feel isolated and without friends? I ask because it concerns me that you might be missing out on an important part of life.

In response to your concern, yes, I do generally feel isolated and without friends. I do talk to a therapist every now and then, but she really does not say much to me, she just more so listens, but will offer insight every now and then. So I guess I feel relieved for a little while, but then go back to feeling the way I do.

I have never really had many friends in my life, nor have I had really anyone that has been loyal or anyone really close to me. This includes family as well. My family is not very close, and I only have very few friends, but it is more of a convenience thing for them (so I should say acquaintances), and I guess you could say the same for my family. I feel socially akward at times, and I feel like a burden to people and I just plain feel that I don't have a place anywhere. I feel that I don't have anyone that genuinely cares about me, what I have to say, or what I do, and I don't think anyone would notice if I went on vacation and was gone for weeks at a time. That's how alone and insignificant I feel. My weekends consist of sitting at home and doing nothing....alone. I don't get phone calls from anyone, or a simple "Hey, how ya doin?", and whenever I try to reach out to anyone, I get nothing...no return call or text, no acknowledgement at all....and I take that very personally because of how I feel, and that makes me feel even worse. And whenever I do talk to someone about how I feel, or just anything I want to talk about, I don't get a response, I get a blank stare, or they just act like they are not interested or there is no genuine response...makes me feel like an idiot for even saying anything in the first place. I feel like I would get more of a response out of my dog at times.

I guess I am used to being used, abused, disregarded and forgotten about, and it's really taking it's toll on me. I have been through a lot in my short life, and it has made me strong in a lot of ways, but also has made me weak and fragile.

I am just at a point where I feel lost and confused, and I really don't know how to make it better. I don't want to hear the old "you need to get on some medication because you are depressed", or you need to talk to someone...I don't need medication, and I have been there and done that with no success, and some extreme sensitivities to those meds..plus, I already see a therapist. I don't know what more to do.

You see a therapist, but it sounds like that person is not being particularly helpful in ways that you need it. Have you talked with your therapist about your struggles with people? Do you feel like she really understands? That she is working with you to develop healthier relationships where you feel cared about? If not, please talk to her about all of this. These are hugely important struggles. If, after trying to talk with her about this, you feel that she is not willing or able to take a different approach with you, then it's time to find a new therapist -- one who can help you. If you feel safe enough with her, I suggest that you even talk with her about this -- maybe you can at least feel heard, understood, and supported.

Hi, just wanted to tell you my love story. I am a vet, spent seven years in the military. Army. I moved to a small town, and was sent to the local veterans clinic. The very first visit, i saw an Angel. I fell so completely in love i hurt. I knew i just had to get her name and phone number berfore i left. Unfortunately, she turned out to be my Dr. And worst of all, married.

I cant stop thinking about her. I have never loved anyone so strongly. Every time i blink, i see her face. Its driving me crazy! But what do i do? I have told her that i have fallen in love with someone there. I believe she knows its her, but i cant say for sure. And i certainly will not step on anyone's toes.

I felt so sad for you, when i read all of your posts. You are NOT alone! You now have the WEB-MD community as friends. Without these communities, i would not have many friends either. I have been helped in soooo many ways here. Without this support, i too, would be lost.

It seems to me, that i have always lost at love? No matter what i try, my love relations always fizzle out. The most important thing, is to keep trying. The one you are meant to be with, is out there! I just hope i find her before my time runs out.

Good luck, and i hope you find happiness in your life. Dennis

I've also met someone very special and it happened on the Internet of all places. The reason I say that is because I was married for 31 yrs and just recently lost my wife a year ago. I actually met her online and she was in the Phillipines. She is now in the states and Living with her daughter about an hour from where I live. T answer your question It's an intense and Beautiful feeling to have when you can be intimate on so many levels. I think It's amazing and she does to. I hope that I will have her in my Life for the rest of the time we are on this earth. he is not only Intelligent but Funny , and she makes me want to be a better person. I think about her 24/7 and when I'm not seeing her we're talking on the phone like Teenagers used to do for hrs. I don't just Love her but I'm in Love with her. Never thought it would happen like this.


I love her for her and she Loves me for me WOW.
love AND RESPECT TO ALL THE WOMAN OUT THERE THAT HAVE SIMILAR STORIES. love CAN HAPPEN TWICE

Micky

I agree with you on the therapist thing, however, she has helped me to bring a lot of other things to light, and helped me to recognize things that I didn't necessarily see before. When you feel as if no one is acknowledging you already, seeing a therapist that isn't reaching out or helping in the areas that are really needed, or acknowledging all of your issues, makes it even worse, and also makes the feeling more intense. I think I might look for a new therapist, or at least let my current one know how I am feeling. Thank you for your reply and your concern. : )

I am very sorry that things turned out the way they did, and I truly hope that you find someone someday that feels just as strongly for you. I follow a lot of threads on here, and I have read a lot of your replies to posts, and you seem like you are very genuine, caring, and you do also offer some great advice.

I believe that things happen for a reason, and also that what we experience in life, whether it be good or bad, prepares us for what's to come...what lies ahead. Love can do so many things..it can be the greatest gift of all, and it can also be disasterous. But I see it as a gift, and whether or not someone loves you back or feels the same, just be content that love grew in your heart, and that you have that ability to love so strong and intensely. Many people don't get that chance in life, and also don't have that ability. I have lost in love as well, many times, to the point where I am ready to throw in the towel. I never give up though, as there is that part of me that knows that the right person is out there, and that is what keeps me going. I know that I have a lot to offer, but after so many times of loving and losing, you tend to get to that point very quickly, and all seems hopeless. I can be alone, I have been for a long time, but I don't want to be.

Thank you for your support and your kind words, as I truly appreciate them. It's nice to know that someone out there cares, and will take time to listen, relate, and respond. I do feel very alone and unappreciated, and I am hoping that soon those feelings will fade. I think that I need to seek out help from my therapist, and really get to the bottom of what is causing me to feel the way that I do. It would be a good start anyways..because I cannot stand to feel like I do anymore.

Thanks again for listening : )