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The two people I love the most can't stand eachother, what do I do?
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An_241773 posted:
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now and we have lived together along with my 15yr old daughter for about 2yrs. For the past few months my boyfriend has been complaining that he no longer feels comfortable living with us because he doesn't feel appreciated or considered by my daughter so he doesn't feel he "belongs". I have done more than my share to make him feel (and be) the man of the house by having him make decisions in the house and sharing thoughts on family issues, but he doesn't seem to get it.

My daughter is my only child and has never had to share me with anybody, not even her own father since he was hardly ever home when we were together. Because of this my boyfriend says that she is spoiled and selfish and that I let her do whatever she wants so she has grown unappreciative of others.

I don't want to loose him. I don't want to be alone, but at the same time I know our relationship is not the same anymore. We have more cons than pros, but I can't seem to make a desicion as to what I need to do. How can I make him shake off all this resentment towards us and make him see that he's just as much a part of "us" as he is for me? Should I end the relationship before he tears my daughter and me apart?
2 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:The two people I love the most can't stand eachother, what do I do?My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now and we have lived together along with my 15yr old daughter for about 2yrs. For the past few months my boyfriend has been complaining that he no longer feels comfortable living with us because he doesn't feel appreciated or considered by my daughter so he doesn't feel he "belongs". I have done more than my share to make him feel (and be) the man of the house by having him make decisions in the house and sharing thoughts on family issues, but he doesn't seem to get it.<br /> <br /> My daughter is my only child and has never had to share me with anybody, not even her own father since he was hardly ever home when we were together. Because of this my boyfriend says that she is spoiled and selfish and that I let her do whatever she wants so she has grown unappreciative of others.<br /> <br />I don't want to loose him. I don't want to be alone, but at the same time I know our relationship is not the same anymore. We have more cons than pros, but I can't seem to make a desicion as to what I need to do. How can I make him shake off all this resentment towards us and make him see that he's just as much a part of "us" as he is for me? Should I end the relationship before he tears my daughter and me apart?
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Anon_24521 responded:
To keep my response simple, and just with out knowing the whole situation, my first thought, is break up with him if he will not keep trying to get along with your daughter. Daughter definitely comes first.
Or you need to ask him what you can do to make him more comfortable around your daughter.
Report This| Share this:The two people I love the most can't stand eachother, what do I do?To keep my response simple, and just with out knowing the whole situation, my first thought, is break up with him if he will not keep trying to get along with your daughter. Daughter definitely comes first.<br />Or you need to ask him what you can do to make him more comfortable around your daughter.
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An_241773 replied to Anon_24521's response:
I have asked him many times what else I can do to make him feel better and he just replies, "what's the point, nothing is ever going to change". We have a cat and he is allergic to it, so I think everything stems from the fact that we don't want to give it away. He lives in my daughter's room, but every once in a while he wonders off into the rest of the house, so he takes it to heart that she just doesn't care about him and his health. Everythings so juvenile to me, and at this point in my life I don't want to deal with it. But it seems like everytime I make a firm decision, he comes home very loving. Things just change overnight. I don't even know how to start the discussion without having him shut down on me.
Report This| Share this:The two people I love the most can't stand eachother, what do I do?I have asked him many times what else I can do to make him feel better and he just replies, "what's the point, nothing is ever going to change". We have a cat and he is allergic to it, so I think everything stems from the fact that we don't want to give it away. He lives in my daughter's room, but every once in a while he wonders off into the rest of the house, so he takes it to heart that she just doesn't care about him and his health. Everythings so juvenile to me, and at this point in my life I don't want to deal with it. But it seems like everytime I make a firm decision, he comes home very loving. Things just change overnight. I don't even know how to start the discussion without having him shut down on me.
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