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How do you and your partner balance your sexual motivations?
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Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD posted:
People have sex for three basic reasons. There is purely physical sex, which is driven by a desire for sensual pleasure. There is purely emotional sex, which is driven by a need to feel emotional reassurance. This need can often be met even better by just cuddling. And, there is bonding sex, which is motivated by a desire for physical and emotional closeness.


What are your prime motivations for sex? How much are you and your partner on the same page with this? And, how do you balance these different needs? For this and much more info on relationships, please visit Dr. Becker-Phels Blog here: The Art of Relationships .
4 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:How do you and your partner balance your sexual motivations?People have sex for three basic reasons. There is p<i>urely physical sex</i>, which is driven by a desire for sensual pleasure. There is p<i>urely emotional sex</i>, which is driven by a need to feel emotional reassurance. This need can often be met even better by just cuddling. And, there is b<i>onding sex</i>, which is motivated by a desire for physical and emotional closeness. <br /><br /><br />What are your prime motivations for sex? How much are you and your partner on the same page with this? And, how do you balance these different needs? For this and much more info on relationships, please visit Dr. Becker-Phels Blog here: <a href="http://blogs.webmd.com/art-of-relationships/2012/06/balancing-your-sexual-motivation.html">The Art of Relationships</a> .
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Rhondamay responded:
The sex I have with my guy is most often a combination of all three. We both treasure the closeness and bonding effect that sex gives us but sometimes it is more lust and sensory fulfillment. Other times it is the comfort of reassurance.

Once when I lost a sibling I spontaneously dragged my guy to the bedroom and did my best to ravage him. I know that was not lust or bonding it was 100% reassurance. Sometimes cuddling isn't enough.

I don't know if this is balance but it works for us.
Report This| Share this:How do you and your partner balance your sexual motivations?The sex I have with my guy is most often a combination of all three. We both treasure the closeness and bonding effect that sex gives us but sometimes it is more lust and sensory fulfillment. Other times it is the comfort of reassurance.<br /> <br /> Once when I lost a sibling I spontaneously dragged my guy to the bedroom and did my best to ravage him. I know that was not lust or bonding it was 100% reassurance. Sometimes cuddling isn't enough.<br /> <br /> I don't know if this is balance but it works for us.<br />
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Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD replied to Rhondamay's response:
It sounds to me like you've found a balance that works for you; which is great! (Everyone has to find their own way of balancing these different needs.)
Report This| Share this:How do you and your partner balance your sexual motivations?It sounds to me like you've found a balance that works for you; which is great! (Everyone has to find their own way of balancing these different needs.)
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samanthas11 replied to Rhondamay's response:
I guess I would be similar. A combination of all of them with a tendency to lean towards bonding.
Report This| Share this:How do you and your partner balance your sexual motivations?I guess I would be similar. A combination of all of them with a tendency to lean towards bonding.
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An_246418 responded:
depending on life situations all three basic reasons can apply. For the most part, we like emotional and bonding sex. Busy schedules can bring on purely physical sex since we both know when we desire just sexual pleasure. Cuddling too, is very important to the relationship as a way of being close to each other. I couldn't be without it ever!!! We enjoy each other and very much in tune to each others needs so balancing is not an issue for us. In the beginning of our relationship, we talked about what we wanted in a sexual relationship so that we both could be on the same page and the experience has been very rewarding
Report This| Share this:How do you and your partner balance your sexual motivations?depending on life situations all three basic reasons can apply. For the most part, we like emotional and bonding sex. Busy schedules can bring on purely physical sex since we both know when we desire just sexual pleasure. Cuddling too, is very important to the relationship as a way of being close to each other. I couldn't be without it ever!!! We enjoy each other and very much in tune to each others needs so balancing is not an issue for us. In the beginning of our relationship, we talked about what we wanted in a sexual relationship so that we both could be on the same page and the experience has been very rewarding
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