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how to know when you are ready to leave your marriage
An_246700 posted:
I have been with my husband for 9 years total we recently got married last December. I have found myself before our wedding and still to this day , feeling that I am not as in love with him as I use to be. I do love him, but I feel that I love him as a best friend, not as a husband. We have been together for a long time and broke up a few times before we got married. I started dating him when I was 17. I am not sure if I am feeling this way because I have never been single or if we are growing apart. Does anyone have any advise for me .
thank you
Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD replied to phoenix0551's response:
It's a good sign that you are both talking and that you are both willing to work together on this. But, is he trying in ways that you want him to be trying? Are there things you wish he would do that he isn't doing? And, have you told him this?

It's not uncommon for couples to lose their spark. But, this often can be recaptured. Dennis's question of how you fell in love in the first place is a good one and can help guide you. Also, FCL's response provides some good questions and good suggestions. Sometimes a vacation doing things you enjoy together can help rekindle feelings -- especially if life stresses are part of what separated you emotionally.

If nothing here works, you might want to try couple therapy before calling it quits. Sometimes a more thorough assessment and personal advise can make all the difference.
whoknewwhat responded:
your bored in this marriage. Don't give me that "best friend"
stuff! It does'nt work! Your looking for a new lover.
Just face it and go on with your life while
your still young. You'll find someone else. I guanantee
it! Your husband probably would like to find someone else
too. The marriage is over the more you put it off, the
more heart ache.

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