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To leave or not to leave...
Anon_233496 posted:
My husband and I have been married for 2 years. We have had our fair share of problems though out the 2 years and even prior to getting married. He is a firefighter and I am a full time student. We spend a lot of time apart because of his job. But he also took on a second job to bring in more money because I don't work full time anymore. He goes into work early and stays late all the time and is never around and when he is, he is on the recliner with a beer. I finally got fed up with him not supporting me and starting seeing a co-worker. My husband found out and wants to work things out but I'm not sure if I want to...
Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated!
tmlmtlrl responded:
Let me get this straight: You're a full time student and he works two jobs, but you got "fed up with him not supporting" you and decided to cheat on him? You might want to go into a lot more detail if you think you're going to get any type of sympathy for cheating on your husband around here. Probably still won't.

Maybe your husband's too much of a pushover for you seeing how he wants to work things out and all.

Are you just done with your marriage? Did you ever really want to be married? Why are you not sure about working it out? Do you love him? Have you always cheated on men? I ask because of the way you had a fixable problem with your marriage, but seem justified in your reasons for stepping out on him.
pink1451 replied to tmlmtlrl's response:
First off I'm not looking for sympathy...I was looking for thoughts and advice. Our prior issues included his addiction to online porn and those "talk dirty" websites. I also work 2 part time jobs while going to school. And I have not always cheated on men. I do love my husband and got married for all the right reasons.
tmlmtlrl replied to pink1451's response:
You have to give information if you want advice. Getting defensive won't help. I'm not sure if you were or not, just saying.

From our point of view you haven't said much. How was I to know you work 2 jobs also? You want advice on to stay or not? Give us information on how things are going, the pros and cons, do you communicate well, has he gotten help for his problems, have you consider couples therapy, do you still see the other man, why would you stay, why go, why not try?
Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD responded:
I would like to try to help, but more information - along the lines of what tmlmtlrl asked - would definitely help us to help you.

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