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How do you nurture your love to keep it strong?
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Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD posted:
The beginning of a relationship is a lot like the birth of an infant. It is new and exciting. It is filled with promise. And, it seems to embody love. Daily struggles and serious problems have no place in hearts or minds of new lovers; until, of course, the natural unfolding of time and maturity bring them forth. Then, unless you nurture your love, it very well might fade.


What do you and your partner do to keep your love alive? For the this and more information please see Dr. Becker-Phelps blog on The Art of Relationships.
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3point14 responded:
I'm probably going to come off as incredibly naiv?e with this, but I think it's a load of poop that the romance has to die as a relationship moves on to a more "real" level. Romance is incredibly important to myself and my BF, and we both try a lot every day to keep things fresh and fun.

I ask him every morning "What fun things are you doing at work today?" and he asks me the same: it keeps us both really focused on the positive and on the future we're building together. We always say that the cornerstones of our relationship are hugging and silliness, and we just try to be as silly as possible as often as possible. We make up songs about each other and our cat pretty frequently, and we have different dances for different things, The Dinner Dance, Shower Dance and Pee Dance are just a few. I'm aware that this is incredibly corny, but we both love it.

Every morning, he sings me a song of all my nicknames put together that nobody else has ever heard. It makes me feel wicked special, and makes him feel good to make me feel good. I make up his lunches for him during the week, or do things like secretly buy cake mix when I go grocery shopping so I can randomly bust out a homemade cake (I did this last week, needless to say it went over well!).

He's my best friend, and we both feel the same way, just because we've been together a while doesn't mean we can start slacking on the appreciation and fun of each other. I get teased a lot when people realize how juveneille and weird we really are, but it makes us happy. My Mom has said she'd find it "exhausting" to behave the way we always do, but to us it's just how it is. We like to try new foods, try new exercises, try new sex positions, and read each other books. I'm in class right now, and when I get home from class, M always asks me "What did you learn?" which not only helps me study, but makes for interesting conversation.


I am a very lucky woman.
 
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Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD replied to 3point14's response:
You are a very lucky woman!

You and your boyfriend clearly do a lot to keep your love alive, which is wonderful. If your life or relationship hits a rough patch (which I am NOT wishing for you- but if it happens), the two of you will hopefully use this very important skill to bring you through. There are many relationships out there that would do much better if they did more of the kinds of things you and your boyfriend do together. I wish you many, many years of continued love and happiness!
 
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Retiredin2000 responded:
I believe you can keep love alive if you both want to!

My wife and I are very compatible in almost every aspect of our marriage. We do many things together and also have our own individual interests we do separately. While we stay very busy, we put our marriage first, above everything else, including our (grown) children and grandchildren. We take care of ourselves and are physically fit. We also understand that marriage does require work, although with some consideration it doesn't seem like work at all!

We are very intimate and we make love at least twice a week. We both love foreplay and she has an orgasm almost every time we make love. We do try different things and we both initiate. We both believe sex is very important in a relationship, and we both like sex.

We take romantic vacations every year, usually a Caribbean all-inclusive during the winter and a Florida vacation in the fall. We have fun together and we make love every day, sometimes twice. These are "our time" weeks and they really rev up the relationship.

I should note that we are both in our upper 60s.


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