I'd just go up and say Hi. See how the possible cheater reacts and if he/she introduces me to the potential mistress/manstress. If they have nothing to feel guilty over, they shouldn't care, and if they're up to no good I think it would put the fear of God in 'em.
Then I'd bring it up in a low-key way when we were all together, something like "Did you like your soup the other night?". Then I'd let the couple deal with it. I don't know the nuances of everyones relationship, and I'd hate to embarass the person getting cheated on by being like "That jerk is a cheat!".
You have to tell her. That is a bad situation, and she will probably be mad at first. Because it hurts so bad she will lash out at you. But once the shock has worn off, she will see that you were being a loyal friend and looking out for her best interests. A picture would be a great idea.
Getting involved in a situation like this, can be a two-edged sword. First, you just might lose a friend, and destroy a relationship. Second, you may save your friend some embarassment.
The best way to handle this would be, to ask the potential cheater if they are doing something they shouldn't, when they are alone. That way, you save the embarassment. If they are honest, and tell you "yes", then you have to tell them that you are going to inform their partner if they don't.
Finally, set back and watch for any potential fallout on your own head. You started this, at least that is what your friends will think. So, be prepared to get invlolved, or, don't say anything at all.
I had a similar experience a few years back. My guy and I were close friends with a married couple and I ran into the husband with another woman and witnessed them kissing and groping each other. I was shocked and dismayed but felt it was none of my business. Months later, after the affair came out in the open, the husband told his soon to be ex-wife that I had seen him and his new sweetie making out in a car in the super market parking lot. The maligned wife confronted me and told me I was a lousy friend and she never wanted to see me again. This ended a twenty year friendship. The husband was too ashamed to even speak to me so I ended up losing two friends. I am not sure if it was cowardice or the horror of choosing sides that kept me quiet.
Thanks for your Reply!
I am in a similar situation right now and have been closely reading the responses.
My problem is that I wasn't the one to witness something - someone else did and told me through another person. So I don't KNOW and can't prove anything and have no way to verify it. But ugh, I hate this. (I do believe it's true because of the people involved on all sides of this.) So, for now, I'm just there for my friend and will be there should something further comes to light.
Since you titled this "Is that my Best Friend's hubby" then my answer is absolutely. I would approach them, introduce myself, and if need be flat out bust him out. No hesitation.
I wouldn't do that for just anyone though.
Anon_99, how close are you to this friend? Do they suspect anything? Why not say "Hey, I heard such n such through gossip and it worried me, what do you think?". What is holding you back? Is it the chance that the info is wrong?
This has happened to me and although I did not confront them, I did tell my friend I saw him and another girl parked in his vehicle when he was supposed to be at work. My friend did some investigative work and found out for sure that he was cheating on her.
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