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    curb a need
    An_241258 posted:
    I know this is probably a typical question of a young fertile woman, but how do you curb that need for starting a family?

    I'm 28 and a newlywed. I know kids bring a lot of responsibility and change our lives, so i want to wait...i really do! But it is hard when some friends have kids, and even as a young child I couldnt wait to be able to have kids.
    One of my first thoughts after getting married is that now the dream of kids is actually becoming real, its what I've always wanted.

    My husband looks forward to it too, but i dont think wants it just yet and I definitely don't want to rush him.

    So how do you curb the baby want/need?
    Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD responded:
    Congratulations of being newly married! I hope that you are enjoying your time together as husband and wife. If in fact you really do want to wait, then you may find it helpful to directly address your inner conflict around this. People often do best in dealing with conflicts by acknowledging them and the feelings around them. Think about the negative side of waiting and the feelings around that. Then think about the positive side of waiting-- and do this in detail. Really imagine all the benefits of doing what you want to do -- waiting to have children. For instance, imagine vacations you might go on or other activities you might enjoy together. Also, talk about all of this with your husband. In this way, you can both share the anticipation of having a family as well the enjoyment of being free from the burden of responsibilities of children... until you are ready.

    Good luck; and enjoy!
    An_241258 replied to Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD's response:
    Thanks for your answer! Thats a great idea to do a pros and cons list.
    I did one briefly myself and it has helped me to put things in perspective. It will be nice to see how it compares to hubbies
    thanks again!
    Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD replied to An_241258's response:
    Glad it helped. Please let us know how it goes.

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