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    What's Your Deal Breaker?
    Chris_WebMD_Staff posted:
    What's the one character flaw you cannot tolerate in a relationship?

    What's the deal breaker that ends a relationship for you? Are there things you cannot forgive and forget when it comes to your partner?

    Life is too short, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
    Author Unknown
    dfromspencer responded:
    Hi, Chrissy

    The one charactor flaw i have the most problem with is, lying. When a person has to lie, for whatever reason, they are not being genuine. Who needs that, in any relationship?

    The deal breaker, Cheating! There is NO reason to cheat, NONE!!! If you find yourself falling out of love, don't cheat, tell your partner. Once you have separated yourself from the other, then go do your cheating. Being cheated on is one horrible feeling! There is no getting past it. You can never forget it! You can forgive the cheater with all of your heart, but it will never be right. I would never wish that feeling on anyone! Don't cheat, talk!

    Thanks, Chrissy, you take care.
    love2lol2 replied to dfromspencer's response:
    You took the words right out of my mouth Dennis! My thoughts EXACTLY!!

    Hugs and Spoons,
    friedeggs replied to love2lol2's response:
    funny123 responded:
    Cheating. I agree with Dennis - if you're falling out of love you need to discuss with your partner. Similarly, if you're falling in love, or attracted to another, you need to tell your partner/wife/husband and have an honest dialog and strategize about what to do.
    StacyVaughn responded:
    Definitely cheating, have to agree. I never understand people that "grow" from a partner that cheats. I tried for two years to get over my ex cheating on me, and I found it was an impossible battle, that was a continuous stab to the back. Over, and over, and over. At least once a month I was having a break down.
    nwlambear replied to dfromspencer's response:
    I agree totally. My first husband cheated...after retiring from the Navy. I totally trusted him until this happened. We tried to work through it, but it was never the same ever again. We divorced and went on with our lives.
    tmlmtlrl responded:
    Character flaw is definitely lying. I can't stand being lied to.

    I have always had two deal breakers and have always been very up front about them. Hit me or cheat on me and you're gone. Plain and simple. I've always let every boyfriend know those things in the beginning of a relationship.

    I even would go as far as telling them that if they put their hands on me that they would pay. That one way or another through time they would pay.... I've never had a man hit me. I would also explain in length about cheating. If you choose to cheat on me then you also make the choice to leave me. There is no turning to me for forgiveness because your choice to cheat on me was the choice to leave me.

    What I've found (fyi) is that every man that I told I would leave if they put their hands on me had the same answer "I would never hit a woman" and I got the same results -- not being abused.

    However, one man turned to me, put the back of his hand on my cheek gently, and said "I would never hurt you". It freaked me out! It was as if he imagined hitting me while he was saying that. I broke up with him the next day. He was angry that I would think that of him. And I told him what the other 99% of men had said and how very different it was than his answer. He was still angry, but I wasn't willing to stick around to test out my theory.

    I believe if a man isn't going to be abusive it will be apart of his standards in life that he would never hit any woman. Men raised this way are very true to it. It is engrained in them that there is never a reason to hit a woman.
    dfromspencer replied to tmlmtlrl's response:
    Hi, tml

    Long time no see! You are sooooo right! I was raised to never, ever hit a woman. My mother, and even my father, made sure us boys new that. We were told then, and thats awhile back now, that women were of the gentler sex. Don't tell them that now, though. LOL!

    I have always felt that, women were to be protected at all costs. Without them, we could not continue as a species! I love women with all my heart. I have never, will never, lay a hand on them. I have never, will never cheat on the one i love! When i am with someone, i am with them till the end!

    If only everyone felt that way, there would be alot less cheating going on.

    Thank you, tml, so true!
    Fainly responded:
    My wife's face glowed with motherly love as she adjusted the frills on the bassinet. I loved her when she was like that. She nodded that I could put the child in the car.
    As I lifted the bassinet I said, "Come along sweetheart."
    "She is not your sweetheart!" said my wife, in great rage.
    "Do you mean what I think you mean?" I calmly asked.
    "If I catch you with her I will kill you," she hissed.
    "Just get in the car," I said.

    Thereafter, I could not consider sleeping beside her, lest I wake up dead.
    Hollevoetmiller responded:
    Do you guys think that addiction is a deal breaker if ther person is not willing to change?
    StacyVaughn replied to Hollevoetmiller's response:
    It depends on the addiction. If its conflicting with your lives, and causing issues, of course them not willing to help it would be a deal breaker.
    dfromspencer replied to Fainly's response:
    Wow, why would she ever say anything like that to you? Have you ever given her reason to? My guess, your wife was sexually assaulted at some point in her life? So sad!
    dfromspencer replied to Hollevoetmiller's response:
    If they don't want to improve their lot in this world, YES!

    You cannot make someone change, no matter how hard you try!

    Sorry, but yes, deal breaker/
    DolphinBaby1369 replied to Hollevoetmiller's response:
    I think addiction is a deal breaker if you are trying and trying to get things to change and have done everything you can and it is still not sinking in then yes

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