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    in relation with a married man
    An_248924 posted:
    hi i am working in us, married and having two kids. in my office i have a colleague of mine whom i knew for long. we started getting well as good friend. but this turned out to into a relationship. i had sex with him . He is married. But somehow his wife is suspicious of this. i feel his behavior has changed . and even his wife had spoken to me rudely abt this. i am trying to get distance from him but i dont know really whet to do. i still somewhere feel i have a soft corner for him. i really loved him but his behavior is such that it is forcing me to think twice whether to maintain the same relationship with him. but he says he is the same and i am changing. my life is jilted. nothing is ok pls advice. i am in relation with him for 1 and half yr,.
    dfromspencer responded:
    What you have done is wrong! You have not only cheated with him, you have cheated your husband as well! How you could even wonder what to do, is beyond me?

    What you need to do first, tell your husband, he has a right to know. Then, you need to try and make it right with him. The other guy, the one you had cheated with, tell him to bugger off, go back to your family. Then, stay away from him.

    You have done a terrible thing, not to one family, but to two! How do you live with yourself? Knowing that quite possibly, you have ruined two families? How do you justify this, to yourself?

    Don't cheat, and you wouldn't have this problem. I cannot stand a cheater! I too, was cheated on, and it still hurts, even after all these years! Don't cheat! Tell your partner, husband, wife, girlfriend first, allow them to get the hell away from you first. Then, it won't be cheating.

    I can't tell you good luck, because I don't like cheater's!
    dfromspencer replied to dfromspencer's response:
    I am so sorry, I snapped. You can never know the pain of being cheated on, unless you have been cheated on yourself. That is one kind of pain, that never goes completely away! It doesn't even help, if you completely forgive the cheater, the pain will still be there for years and years. I know!
    fcl responded:
    If you are trying to make a clean break, at very least, you should ask for a transfer to another office. To be honest, I'd actually be looking for another job if I were you ...
    There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
    whos2say responded:
    think twice about maintaining a relationship with him? What about your marriage and family?? Have you not thought twice about them?! You are upset because his wife "spoke rudely"to you? You need more than distance from him.
    StacyVaughn responded:
    Well, you honestly should have already prepared for this to happen from the start. He is already married. His wife will (and sounds like she has) find out. This is going to create A LOT of stress for him, and in his home, where most people go to relax and be comfortable.
    Unless the other party is actually in the process of getting a divorce, he will more than likely never be with you. I've heard too many stories of men cheating on their wives, and telling the mistress "I'll leave her, I'll leave her" but than never does. And the mistress ends up left behind and forgotten.
    I'm trying not to judge cause I've never been put in that situation. but come on, he was/IS already married to another woman, did you think persuing a relationship was really the best idea? Is that the example you want to be for your kids?What if you married a man, and he was having a 1.5 year long affair with someone else, that's prettyyyy.. Hurtful and messed up.. If he's unhappy with this woman he needs to grow a pair, be a man, and divorce her. Other wise you and him are the only ones to blame.
    Save yourself, your family, him, and his family the time/drama and leave the pig in his pin. FORGET ABOUT HIM. Find someone to be with you and ONLY you. Someone that you don't have to sneak around with, hide things, can't marry, or can't ever have a future with. Please, think more of yourself than that. Surely you deserve better <3
    dfromspencer replied to StacyVaughn's response:
    Stacy, i hope you take your own advice, check the last two sentences? Then, take action!

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