I'm 58 y/o and single after breaking off a long-term relationship 4 years ago. Not having a sexual partner, or any partner, has not bothered me until recently. I now feel like I need sex - primarily for the physical aspect, but also I miss the closeness. Until I find another relationship, what is one to do??
Take the Poll
Should I have sex with my old boyfriend just for the physical release?
Going back to an ex isn't always a bad idea. But you BOTH have to ONLY want sex. I made the mistake of sleeping with an ex I had no desire to ever be with again, and he still wanted to be with me. It was a pain in the a-- to get him to stop calling and begging. Otherwise, you can always try making a profile on a website geared towards meeting people to hook up with. There's a free one I had used that I believe is called "datehookup.com"
I doubt that old feelings will pop up, I'm so over him. He cheated on me (twice) and to this day will not admit it even though I was able to show him proof. He's just such a liar, can never take any blame, etc. etc. But he is good in bed and right now that's what I need.
Buy a dildo! That is what you need. You don't want to give that guy anything! If he cheated on you, and denies it, is that what you will settle for? I say NO! Your need is simple, you just need release. You can get that yourself. Hands, anyone?
If he cheated on you twice why would you lower yourself to have sex with him? Have you been checked out for STDs since you broke up?
I have had fun sex with men I wasn't in love with but I would NEVER have sex with a man that I despise... Raise your standards. The longer you wait, the better it will be with the man who deserves you.
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
Well I never said that I despise him. We continued to have a relationship (somewhat) after he cheated. It wasn't until a few years later that I left him. However, DUE to his cheating and lying, I would never be interested in a relationship with him again. Anyway, you guys have opened my eyes.
As much as I do agree with FCL, I also see were you're coming from. I've been there. Sure it was maybe "low" for me to return to an ex, but it was strictly for my own selfish need to fulfill my sexual desire. Sometimes it's easier (in some cases better) to sleep with someone you are already familiar/comfortable with, rather than having to connect with a stranger. Definitely think it through awhile before taking action. You never know when something may fall in your lap!
Well it's been about 6 months since my initial post (above) and I still haven't slept with him! I guess I just bury my needs / feelings and get on with my life; however, I do feel as if I'm missing out on a very natural and needed part of being human.
I know it's rough to have principles when you also have human needs, as we all do. It comes down to priorities I guess... and I know that a battery powered boyfriend is no substitute for cuddles and human contact. I wish you the best of luck in finding somebody you can respect and who will treat you right.
Wow, I feel for you! Its been 20 years for me, now. I have found a woman with whom I have some things in common, but where it will lead, I don't know? She seems a little standoffish, so i'm thinking its not going to go that far, bummer!
I have buried my feelings and needs for so long, its hard to get the swing back. But, i'm ready! I'm even willing to break my promise of no sex till i'm in love, thingy! However, I applaud your sense of right. You do not need him! Find someone with whom you have something in common, and let it go from there, like I am!
I've been on three dates with her, so far. She will be here tonight for dinner. Maybe a movie? Then, I am gong to make my move, I hope she don't get upset???
The date went well, she loved the dinner, skipped the movie. She grabbed my hand, and led me into my bedroom, it was fireworks from then on. She left at 4:30am, had to rush home and get ready for work.
She called me at 7:30 am, said she didn't think it would work out. I asked her what I did wrong, she says its not me, its her. What the hell does that mean??? She hung up on me. I can't even call her till she gets off work, about 4pm. The agony of waiting to find out something, anything as to why she feels this way??? She said she had a great time, then this. I am so confused right now???
I guess if she doesn't want a relationship, that's ok with me. I can at least thank her for breaking my pledge, right? I so enjoyed having sex after 20 years, it was amazing!!! Three hours of pure extasy!
Well, back to the waiting. Take care, i'll give an update soon.
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