Relationships and Coping Community

I am so in need of advice!! I met my husband 10 years ago. I was divirced and he a widower. I helped raise his last three kids the first 4 years of our marriage. 5 years into the marriage I found out he had been having a sexual affair with a really disgusting woman the whole time we dated right up till I busted him. Said he would never do it again. I had some tough times for a few years after...I lost all my parents ( mom,dad and step parents). During one of the times my mom had to go to surgery and they told us she probably would not make it he could not be at the hospital with me. Found out a few days later(while sitting in intensive care for my mom) after looking at his cell phone that while I had been spending time with my mom he was having phone conversations with another woman. In fact, he couldnt be with me on that day cuz he was going to go meet this woman. says now he backed out of the meeting but I dont believe that. Because of all of this I told him I would not be coming back till he got help(therapy). So for the next 5 months we lived apart and I went to therapy and so did he. the plan was for us both to get healthy and then I come home and we go to therapy together. We talked every morning and at nite and alot during the day. he told me he loved me constantly and couldnt wait for me to be home. We were in the end discussions for me to come home and planning the day...and I found out he was cheating again. Not JUST cheating.....every nite that he said he loved me over the phone he would hang up and make love to this woman...in OUR bed. Yep, thats right...he had moved her into our home. She was showering in my bathroom...cooking in my kitchen and having sex with him in my bed. The next few weeks were a nightmare and yes..I did move home. And he continued to sneak around with her for 6 weeks before COMMITTING to our marriage. It has been a year now and I am so unhappy. I live in the home where he brought her and he says we cant move ( its a farm) and everyday is reminders and pain for me. He has not cheated in this whole year and swears that is over and that we can move on if I cant forget...but I cant forget. Some days ( very few) I am "ok"...but for the most part depressed, stressed and waiting for it to happen again. Since he has been faithful a year he thinks I should get over it...BUT his new thing is porn and pressing me constantly to have a threesome with another woman. he says he wont touch her and that he just wants to watch me be with her. The problem with that is that I find it distasteful and do not want to do it. I feel as tho he is trying to cheat again but just get me involved with it so i cant complain. I hate the house we live in cuz of the memories. I hate the porn and pressure to do the threesome. I am just so unhappy...but i do have days I feel as tho i love him and when I am away from him I miss him...or is it that I am worried he is cheating...I am so confused. I am getting to an age where I want PEACE and NO DRAMA in my life. I dont want to be a porn watching swinging person...I wanna be a wife and grandma.