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Hurt with hard choices to make...
MicheleZ posted:
Okay I have been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and I just gave birth 4 months ago to my second child his first. It has been somewhat of a rocky road but I truly do love him dearly. I found out Sunday that him and my best friend of 9 years have been fooling around behind my back (well more like under my nose) for the past 3 weeks. They both are begging for my forgiveness and blaming each other for their betrayal. Now my boyfriend and I do not have the best relationship and have agreed that we are trying our best to work through things prior to this happening. My best friend knew of all our troubles for she is the one that I have always confided in and took to for advice and support. I am trying to forgive both but I just can't seem to get past all the deceit and hurt on her part. Mainly because I already had trust issues with my boyfriend for we both have made our share of mistakes and are working on that. However I never expected this from her and have always trusted her wholeheartedly. Is it wrong of me to want to put my energy in to working through my issues with myself, and our relationship and not hers? I put every bit of energy I have into my children already, then my self and mine and his relationship leaving no time or energy or want to into fixing my friendship with her. Any suggestions or advice?
fcl responded:
You are under absolutely no obligation to try to fix your friendship with her. Personally, I wouldn't want to see her again and certainly wouldn't want her anywhere near my family. Put all of your energy into your relationship. Start by finding a good counsellor.

Good luck to you and congratulations on the new baby!
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
dfromspencer responded:
Hi, Michele

I am so sorry you are going through this. No one should have to go through this. He cheated on you! With your b.f.f. no less. That alone, tells me he does not really, truely love you. If he did, he would never have done it! Your b.f.f., is certainly NOT a very good one! Dump her immediately! If however, you still want to stay with the cheater, seek therapy right now.

I was cheated on, and i forgave her with all of my heart, but the hurt proved too much to bear. You can forgive, but you will never forget. You are gonna need help. Seek that counselling, and make him go too.

You said you already had trust issues with him? And now this? I have no idea, just how to go about fixing that, after he has now cheated? Cheating blows trust all to hell!! I hope you are one of those strong women, that can handle this thing easily? If not, you may be in for some long therapy sessions?

Good luck with whatever you do!

P.S. My suggestion would be, leave him, he is not worthy of your love. He has betrayed you once, he will again. Don't let him, leave. And take your babies with you. Congratulations on the newborn!!!

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