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    Relationship Problems: When To Let It Go
    Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD posted:
    Now, with the holidays, and the stress of all that they bring, it's important to remember that your partner is only human… as are you. So, while it's a great idea to work on improving your relationship, it's equally important to allow for imperfection.

    Do you let certain things go?
    How do you decide what or when to let go of problems?

    Dr. Becker-Phelps's discussions and her responses in those discussions are for general educational purposes only. If you need help for an emotional or behavioral problem, please seek the assistance of a psychologist or other qualified mental health professional.

    dfromspencer responded:
    Hi, Dr. Becker-Phelps

    We have to let certain things go, like leaving the cap off the toothpaste tube. Those are minor infractions. Everyone has their own little quirks, so, each must allow for the other.

    If, after a discussion, you cannot solve the problem, is it healthy to hold on to it? No. So, at some point, we have to agree to disagree. Just because we disagree with our partner, doesn't mean we stop loving them. Disagreements/arguements are part of any relationship. Finding that common ground is essential.

    Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD replied to dfromspencer's response:
    Dennis: I couldn't have said it better myself!
    irishhottie responded:
    I met a great guy on eharmony and we have gone on four dates and emailed for about a month. Things were going great until tonight, when he said to me by text messages that he wants time for himself and didn't want to meet up with me tonite. Also, he said that I don't like to hold hands because I didn't hold hamds with him on our last date. Lastly, I'm a certified nurses aide and he wants to communicate 24/7. I don't think he understands what I do since, I get stressed and I'm tired after work. He outrite said that he wants t hear from me when I get home . Honestly, I realize communication is important when in a relationship with someone but he texts me every two minutes.For me its a bit much because he overwhelms me. On our third date, he asked me to be exclusive and I said yes because I want to get to know him more and he makes me happier. Not like a man should make you happy but, I'm more happpy when I'm with him and on the phone, as well. In ending, we are both catholic and I feel like he should give me another chance to improve on what I did wrong. Also, its not like he even gave us much of a chance to get to know each other because we didn't date for that long. Please..could really use some advice because I still want him in my life.Thanks again.God bless!
    dfromspencer replied to irishhottie's response:
    Hiya, Irish!

    Text him back, tell him what you just posted. Ask him for the chance to at least get to know each other? My, my, he certainly didn't give you much of a chance to do that, did he? Wow, some guys think that a third date is a key to the bedroom. Its not, and never should be!

    He has to understand that, there are limits to text communications! And that, when you get home from work, it is NOT a good time for you! If he cannot understand that, why bother with him? Just remember, that is a two way street.

    His saying that you don't like to hold hands after just three dates, well, that is pretty immature, don't you think? Three dates is not a marriage. You are still getting to know each other, and to make a judgement call like that, is just wrong! How does he know you don;t like holding hands, did you tell him that? How old is this guy? Putting this kind of pressure on you, just isn't right, you know? Ask him to be a little patient with you.

    I can do no less than, wish you all the luck in thew world!!!


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    Dr. Becker-Phelps is a well-respected psychologist, who is dedicated to helping people understand themselves and what they need to do to become emotio...More

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