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Need Help very confused with ex
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An_249222 posted:
I am very Confused about what is happening in my life right now.. I was dating a woman for 6 years an 7 months ago out of the blue she told me she needed a break, but we would be back together after she was healed from her depression. I didn't want that cause I knew what it was going to lead into.. So I have been assuming we was still together ..So with that being said she ignored me for months even tho I would email her to see how she was doing an too see if we could continue our relationship. she would only reply to be ignoreant towards me. If she replied back at all.. We have a long distant relationship. So the other day I sent her a a text telling her that I made a appointment to see a doctor about ADHD cause alot of the problems she said she disliked about me are symptoms from ADHD. So Someone texted me back saying it wasn't her but I know it was her phone not someone elses phone. she uses signture on all sent text. so this this morning I get a email from from her saying " I was told my coworker was messin with you on text.
Sorry, he took my phone without me knowing.
We can not reconcile, so stop this". I have no clue what to think.. Why does she now want toText me an email me on her own feel will after ignoring me for 7 months . Is cause she really does want to be with me an now that I am showing her with real actions I want to get the issues she dislikes taken care of or is she just playin more games??? I did send her a email back which of course she ignored an didn't reply back can anyone make sense out of this?
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creeper71 responded:
No one can help me understand this?? I am trying to figure out why she wants to reply now after I told her I was seeking help... Is there a possiblity we can get thru this an be together again?
 
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Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD replied to creeper71's response:
We can't know exactly what's going on in your situation or what will happen. However, it's often best to listen to what someone is telling you and take that message seriously. So, given that she's stopped communication for so long and is telling you "we cannot reconcile, so stop this" then at least seriously consider letting go and moving on.
 
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creeper71 replied to Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD's response:
What is confusing me is why would she wait til I tell her I am getting help for my own issue to tell me we can't reconcile??? she had 7 months to tell me that while I was still in denial I had a problem to tell me that.. I think she maybe still in her depression cause she never got treated for it an she may still want to work thing out just not at this time of her life
 
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Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD replied to creeper71's response:
Maybe she will want to work it out at some point; and maybe not. But, hard as it is, for now, she's saying not. (Whether or not she really means it, only she knows; but her words and her behavior are all you have to go on for what to do now.)
 
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1nt3rnalc0mbu5t1on responded:
Creeper,

Sorry that she seems to have put an abrubt stop to your long relationship. One thing I have learned is you can never try to figure out what someone else is feeling or going thru. When we start to disect those situations our minds lead us down all sorts of paths. Some good and some bad, but probably the wrong path. She has her feelings and her issues, hey, we all have our issues. You said that she is dealing with depresssion, there really isnt a cure-all for that disease, you learn to deal and cope with it over time and manage your feelings better. So sadly that will be a part of her life for as long as you know her, its just how she chooses to handle it. You mentioned that you were going to see someone about being ADHD, good for you for stepping up and trying to get help.

The one thing that stood out to me was that she asked for a break. I know its a tough pill to swallow and no one likes being "rejected" by someone they put almost 7 years of their life into cannot be easy. But she wouldnt have asked for the break if didnt feel she needed it, so give her what she needs, space. I know you care about her deeply and want her to be well. But the urges you get to reach out to her, you may need to pull the reins back and give her that "space". Im just speculating, but she could read those texts or emails as a way of controling her or what ever. Where it is coming out of a place of love from you, who knows what she is reading into it. So let her do the initial communication, you can reply to her. I understand that it might be weeks or months before she reaches out to you, but if during that time she is getting help and working on getting better than thats a good thing. If she is not getting help and is staying in that same funk, you might want to cash in your chips and move on. It's obvious that you care about her deeply. If she cant see that, thats her problem, not yours.

As someone who suffers from depression, you cant be forced to get help, its something you want to do for yourself. You cant go into therapy for someone else and expect to heal yourself. You need to go for you and only you. Therapy isnt easy, you dig up a lot of past memories and while working thru things you may resent some people whom you love. But while working thru all of those issues you find that you do truly love those people.

Best thing you can do is just be their for her and focus on healing you. Because no matter what happens between the two of you, you want to be your best person for the only person that matters, YOU!

best of luck

IC
 
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vickycole001 replied to 1nt3rnalc0mbu5t1on's response:
think you should contact this man that helped me to get my ex back via email esangopriest@gmail.com


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