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How do you let go of something you so badly want to forget?
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An_249289 posted:
Hi there,

About seven months ago I discovered that my boyfriend of two years had been emailing back and forth with a chick he works with (who apparently lives in a whole other country) a lot of their emails were simply getting to know one another as two single people would, flirting and chatting about all sorts of things. Except the chain of emails that he failed to delete from his email account hidden in a folder, that contained VERY provocative photos and trashy talk back and forth….. There is a LOT of stuff that has happened since I found out seven months ago. I moved out, and then came back…we got a place together…fight non-stop about what he did…list goes on.

I do however want to just forget it. Like obviously I've "forgiven" him if I came back and am continuing our life together as we planned…But seriously like it's been seven months! And from what I know…it was only email, (and probably msn web came-but he denies that) Don't get me wrong, I think going for coffee with the opposite sex co-worker is cheating! I stand for NOTHING of any kind with the opposite sex..not family related….I may seem crazy. But I don't care! Anyways…It's been seven months, and I am literally still as bitter and everything as I was the day I found out. It doesn't seem like I've been letting go of it, or getting passed it at all. To be quite honest he and I both think that I have become bitter and more hateful toward him as time goes on…

What gets me is that I NEVER in my mind would have thought for one second that this man would do anything remotely close to that, to me. He's smart, has his head on his shoulders, mature, does everything and anything for me. Always supports me and just all round I held him on a pedestal. I just want the feeling that he gave me before I found out. Where I felt like I was the most special person in his life, the most beautiful person in the world to him…Where we were two peas in a pod, and we would be together forever! L I've tried everything to just let it go, and forget or just at least let me not show that I am bitter and angry…Nothing works long term. I'll be okay-not question him, or hate his face for a day or two, then its like BAM I hate his life again..(not really)but u get what I'm saying…I want to be with him more than anything, and I do believe deep down that he wouldn't do anything to hurt me ever again…Now how do I live my life in peace, without stressing myself out and breaking his balls with 20 questions DAILY!

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hollaback responded:
Hey~ You know what? To forgive is not easy. And forgetting it. Don't think so. But I will say this. If you want him. You have to let it go to move pass what happen. It's hard. But your relationship will grow more distant if you not let it go, You see what I'm saying. The more you hold on to the past. The PAST will not be what it is designed to be. Meaning, already done. But being bitter to him will only keep adding wood on the fire that should have already been out. (THE PAST) Girl~ save the bitterness. That is too much energy to give out. PLUS it takes away from you. Like make you stress, angry, unhappy. DONT LET BITTERNESS still your JOY! You feel me~


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