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hollaback posted:
How do you get it back? How do you get the LOVE you once had back? How do get the feelings back? How do you get tha feelings back of wanting him? Loving him? What do you do when you don't feel? When you have no bond, no closeness, no conversation, no nothing~
fcl responded:
Can you tell us a bit more?

Why did you lose your love for him? Did something happen or did you just drift apart? How long have you been together? Why do you want to be in love with him again? Wouldn't you rather leave him?
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD responded:
For us to help, please give us more information. Let us know as more about what has gone wrong so that we can help you put it right.

Think of it this way, if your car isn't running and you want to fix it, you would need to know if there is no gas in the tank or no engine under the hood. Without this information, there's no way to fix it.

Hoping to hear more from you...
dfromspencer responded:
You could start by remembering what made you fall in love with him, in the first place. Build on that.
rohvannyn responded:
This might seem like an odd question, but are you having trouble enjoying other things in your life too? Sometimes when I am depressed I have had trouble loving but at the same time I have had trouble enjoying anything else as well. I ask because you say "what do you do when yo9u don't feel?" Also, is there something missing in your relationship that you need?

If you keep a diary, you might want to reread old entries from when your love was new. One thing I've done when my feelings were waning is I've written a list of everything I like about my spouse. Once I wrote a letter thanking her for everything I appreciate about her, and gave it to her as a gift. She still has it hanging by her computer. That helped a lot.

A good thing to remember: your focus determines your reality. That's why making lists of positives helps. But keep your needs in mind, and if there is something not being met, think of ways of positively meeting that need. Just my two cents, good luck with everything.

'Your focus determines your reality.' --QGJ

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