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ddemars posted:
please help me, my family will not help me with things I can no longer do all the way. the y act mad and angry at me which I understood to be normal but it never moved from there. it is making me so upset and depressed. they will tell me I am stupid and lazy and a lot of other names too. I am 63 and my lower back has fused together and i am bent over. i am at my wits end. am i the only one that is getting this reaction from their family?

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crystalscats responded:
You are not alone. I am 52 and having this problem too. My son is 20 and moved out recently. Wants his own life. I am too much on a constant basis. I have a wood stove for my main source of heat. I have to buy wood from Walmart all the time as no one to cut the wood for me. It gets expensive and I go without at times. I just bundle myself up. Cannot afford oil in furnace, two portable electric heaters.
Went to lunch the other day with him. I cried on the way home. I feel like people are treating me like the crazy old lady now. I also have FMS and I think it has worsened the RA. The pain has become horrible. I went to shut the front door the other day and fell right out! My right knee is painful and giving me a lot of trouble now. I should have gone to Urgent Care but I am stubborn.
I am looking for a smaller place to live now. I just cannot keep up on everything anymore. I just feel like a second class person now. I feel maybe I am the crazy old lady now?
 
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stellagonzalez replied to crystalscats's response:
Hello both of you don't get disheartened, I would say just speak to your family members about your situation and make them realize what you are dealing with. And speak to your children, that at certain age most of the people face this type of situation. So do support me rather than ignoring me.
 
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jean2005 replied to stellagonzalez's response:
Hi, I am 56 yr old f who used to do it all. Now, I can not. That was, and still is, very hard on me to get used to. I'm finally learning how to pace myself. I also have heart and lung issues. My husband is no help. He is all about him. I had just got out of the hospital for umpteenth time the other day, I let him know that I was being released for complete bed rest. He said he was ok with that. Well guess what? He immediately become so sick with the flu that he couldn't do anything. He slept all day and night for two days. He finally came out of it and went to the store, bought a few items and proceeded to eat it all. No visual or verbal concern about me at all. Not even, how are you doing today? Way too much drama. Waiting on the visiting nurse later day to see what she/he recommends. Sigh...
 
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jean2005 replied to crystalscats's response:
Hi Crystalscats,
You are on the right track to move to a smaller place which could be more manageable for you to keep. I wouldn't get a place where your son could crash too. Let him have his space and that you will need occassional help. Meanwhile, see your MD for the pain. See a social service agent (whether government or town) for help with heat and other utilities. They can offer a multitude of suggestions for you. Stop being stubborn. You are not helping yourself. Empower yourself. Small victories count too.
You are not the crazy old lady, trust me. I have been in your shoes and having a good day today. YEA! Keep in touch and let me know how you are doing.
 
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mariajohnson responded:
Well I would say first of all go for some treatment for your RA pain. Visit your doc and take appropriate medicines. Once your pain has lessen then you will feel better and you can talk to your family members. Do not avoid your pain now it may even get worsen.
 
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stellagonzalez responded:
Hey guys how are your what's your family's reaction did you spoke with them


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