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    RA newbie
    Lavendar58 posted:
    I have found out that I have RA along with sjogren's and fibromyalgia...
    Seems alittle excessive to can you have all 3?
    My husband works out of state and while he was home this last time I fractured my rib. The day after he left my Rhemy called with the news...I meet up with her on Monday to discuss. My biggest concern is that my husband cannot handle in any way shape or form of me being out of "commission." I have been off work two weeks w/this rib and he insisted everyday before he left for work that I was fine didn't need the pain pills, etc. My point in all of this is I dread more telling him after my visit w/the rhemy on Mon. what I've been told than facing the rest of it. I know I won't get his support nor will he even acknowledge any of it. His attitude causes alot of stress and I realize that stressors can cause a flare up or intensify your symtoms. I guess I am just venting, because I feel pretty alone in this. and need support. I have been really fatiqued this summer, and joint stiffness and pain, and dry eye (severe) so finally went to find out what was going on. He didn't like it when I would say I was to tired to do this or that or say I was in pain. So, I would just keep my mouth shut and do my best while he was home. There I guess I feel better just putting it out there! It's hard when someone doesn't understand...I'm not a complainer and work hard at being active and healthy.... Does anyone out there have an unsupportive spouse or partner that just can't cope with you not being 110%?
    DIYSTER responded:
    To answer your first question, yes you can have RA, Sjogren's Syndrome and Fibromyalgia - I have all 3 plus it was just confirmed I have Celiac Disease. So I know what you are going through.

    To address your last question, I have to say I'm very fortunate in having great support from my husband from day 1 when I started having problems. I, too, was very active and worked a crazy, high-stress job. So it was difficult and eventually went further downhill. I am wondering if there is any way you could have your husband accompany you on your visit to the Rheumatologist. Perhaps he needs to hear this first hand from a specialist in the field if he doesn't "believe" you. He could simply be in denial. The added stress of lack of support from your partner makes your symptoms worse so see if you can involve him more in your efforts to make your life better. And you can always come here to vent! Best of luck!
    RAWarrior responded:
    Sorry that you have this adding to your problems. I do hear this a lot. It is so wrong. If you send him a link will he read it? I met this one man who changed his tune after is wife got breast cancer. Her breast cancer was painful, but the RA was so painful, she didn't get treated early for the breast pain. She did die. He wrote up her story to try to help other spouses be more aware. Here is the link to part 1.

    Maybe if you sent him tha link, he'd read it. Or maybe he will catch on if he realizes you are not the only one. Sorry you feel alone. Glad you are reaching out. Good luck 2 you.

    Kelly :D
    Mewkat responded:
    Hi Lavendar,

    I also feel for you. Having these medical issues is hard enough, but feeling like you have them alone makes it all the tougher.

    I agree with the earlier thought about having him come to your doctor appointment with you, to hear information straight from the doctor. He may also have some of his own questions that he might ask directly.... Years ago, (years!) when I was pregnant with our first, I was having a lot of issues with exhaustion and not getting a lot of support from my husband. Having him come to an appointment and have his own questions answered by the midwife (while I kept quiet!!) was very helpful.

    I am having my first rheumatologist appointment in 2 weeks -- he's coming with me. :)

    Best wishes and hang in there....
    Lavendar58 responded:
    Thank you so much all of you for your "words." I really appreciate your insight and understanding. I'm anxious for Monday and glad I found this site.

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