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I dont know what to do about my mother
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An_248272 posted:
My mother is in her 50s and I am struggling what to do with her. Our whole family is. When I was younger I thought it was normal but now I know that my mom has a problem. First my mom makes up stories. Very elborate ones.Such as celeberties calling her, that she knew before certain people died, and such and such. It became more apparent when it was an event I went through with her and she would highly exagerate later on. It is now to the point that you cant trust her.

With this she loses all jobs she gets because she is paranoid, every boss is out to get her. And every friend or family member she has bashed and then at some point she talks them up and how great they are.

Then is cant stop talking. When I was a kid I just put up with it but she makes no sense. She will have the most detailed conversations where she goes into what the other person said back to her and then she rambles on to another topic. To say anything while she is talking she gets upset, yet she just keeps going. So she doesnt have any friends and people stay away from her.


She also changes what you say and tries to convience you said things you didnt.

Also she believes she doesnt talk a lot and that she has no problems. She thinks its everyone else. She will be happy for awhile then it all sparks and changes over to like a jekl and hyde type.


My grandma has helped her out a lot and it is wearing on her. I moved out years ago and my sister just moved out so now she is completely alone. But we all have been so stressed by her but want the best for her.

She just got mentally evluated and apparently they said she doesnt have any disorder, she is just very aggressive and defensive. But I do believe it, i think they didnt see enough.


What I CAN Be done about her? I wish a bunch of experts could watch her and give opinions.

This week something snapped and with her and gone farther then it has. She had been asking for cigerette money from my sister and then expected that even though I helped her wwith a bill that because I didnt pay it all off even though I said I could only afford so much that then I should buy her some cigerrettes. So after that she told me I couldnt have my mail sent there and I had to pick it up. Which she called me at the middle of my work shift and I told her because I was working over time for awhile I wouldnt make it out there for a while (I just didnt want to deal with her drama ).. So she then ended up walking in windy cold weather to my apartment, probably 8 miles away to give me paper work and then ran off when I asked her why she is acting this way..


I am afraid she might do something she will regret, but I also think it might just be for attention. Maybe she is some type of drug? I know she used to long time ago. I really dont what can be done so that she is more rational.
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Fowden responded:
Well, it doesn't sound like a serious mental illness. If you've tried talking to her and are not getting results, then perhaps you could look into family counseling. Everybody has to deal with changes as we grow older and some people can experience difficulties at certain stages. She may be acting strange, but from what you described, it isn't bizarre (e.g. being controlled by aliens, seeing or hearing things that aren't there). Try consulting a family therapist. Best wishes.
 
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larsstarscanary responded:
I'm surprised the doctors who examined your mom don't see a problem. Can someone else evaluate her?
 
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ArtsyMcBubbles responded:
I would most definitely get a second opinion by a different specialist. I've gone through many specialists and each of them diagnosed me with something different and I did not change my story. If you know a loved one has this type a problem, you need to be her moral support. That will most definitely help her get better. Find a mental/behavioral medical facility that offers extensive tests/evaluation. I've taken a 500 question test, motor skills test, etc to get the right diagnosis. Every doc is different I have to say, from personal experience. If you think she will harm herself or others, your last resort is to admit her to a hospital for evaluation and treatment. My parents don't speak a lot of english, so it was hard for them to understand what the heck was going on with me! Luckily I had my only sister, to help manage my health issues and I got better. I had my moral support. It is awesome you are aware of her problems. If she is on any type of drug, you can have her do a drug test?
 
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Anon_124828 responded:
I think that it's important to understand that when people act out like this, the best thing to do for you would be to remember that they're hallucinations, I think that is the best way to approach it from your shoes, and then try to find a way to be helpful.

I also know that it's best for people going through these things not to be left alone and that also means in public, just for the sake that all possibilities for the condition should be taken into account.
 
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AJWMedia responded:
First, lets think about your mom having another disease/disorder, say Cancer. We know that cancer and a mental illness are in the same group; because in some cases you are hopeless in knowing what to do. My mom who just now passed last year, had Schizophrenia, and I make this point because we need to start thinking of mental health disorders just as if they had some disease that is understood in our society. (Like Cancer) Many people with disorders like bipolar disorder or Schizophrenia have very different way of seeing things. If they are hearing voices or seeing things (hallucinating) for example, in their mind they believe it's real. It's not some made up lie; it's what they believe if in fact she was diagnosed with a mental illness.

Many people with mental issues lose their jobs because their mind is not stable or have the right chemicals in their brain to work like you or I. I know it's stressful to see your mother like this... but seek help in trying to understand what is going on"026

Many people with mental health issues do talk to people they believed to be there. They have sleep difficulties as well.

I think you need to seek another opinion. Sometimes the systems do not show itself at the first visit. If you believe your mother to have some sort of mental illness. Its in the best interested of your family to find out what is going on. Even if it's something like a tumor, you want to know why your mother is behaving out of sorts.


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