I've done trial and error to find the right medication for me, I don't feel like it's working at all. And the friggen doctor that gives me the medication hasn't even requested a follow up! So what happens when I run out!? What IF it DID work for me!? What would happen after they're all gone? Just friggen deal with it. I can't ever get an appointment with a doctor when I need one most! When I do see someone they don't help. Or it feels like they don't have time or they aren't really listening. Lately I have been severely depressed, I've been having really bad mood swings, my boyfriend is exhausted from it. I feel like I'm drowning. I try to keep it together, I'm trying to be normal live normally but I CANT. I want to scream! I want to be alone in a dark place. I just want to be normal. I feel like I'm sinking and everyone is giving up on me. My boyfriend gets the brunt of everything I'm going through. I just want to scream. I want to be alone.. I feel like my head is going to explode. I just want to run and scream! I need help! But nobody has the time to help me!!!! I can't take this any longer!!! I'm drained from trying to be FRIGGEN NORMAL! I can't pretend anymore! I just can't take it! This medication that is supposed to take away the main problem, is NOT doing anything! I'm sinking! I can't talk to my boyfriend because I've driven him away with my craziness. And he doesn't know how else to help me. Telling me it will be okay just doesn't cut it anymore! I'm sinking! I feel like I'm suffocating! My life is turning upside down! I've been hiding in myself for years and I'm out of energy trying to be normal. I can't take this. I can't take it!! I have no one to talk to! No one to help me! This medication isn't helping me! I can't hold on any longer! I'm weak!! I can't take this! I can't hold it together anymore!
You are talking to someone now! I don't know where you live, but you can contact NAMI. They can point you in the right direction to get some help. I understand how your feeling. I live life one day at a time. My goal is just to get through today. Try to get yourself into that mind set. Alot of Doctors are worthless, but there are some good ones. NAMI can help you find resources that CAN help. Keep posting on this website and others will respond. In the mean time I'm listening.
Thank you for the advice. I actually know a lot about mental illness, and i took the NAMI course over 4 years ago(before ever being diagnosed or thought i had anything "Really" wrong with me) I know a lot about mental illness, but it's actually getting help that is the struggle. I've seen so many counsellors doctors, all throughout my life, but it seems like they have never ACTUALLY DONE anythign...this is the first time that i've been given anything more than an anti-depresant. BUt like this time, i'm given something, it makes me sick as hell, so then she gives me something else, it doesnt work at all. BUt there is NO follow up! So it;s like is this for real! im given a medication and then left to deal with w/e happens....I just want to be normal and live a normal life. I cant hold a normal relationship, because I'm freaking CRAZY and i make my bf's life miserable from my moods half the time...UGH! I cant do anything, getting up in the morning for me, is like pulling teeth...I just want to scream!
Is your DR. a GP or a Psychiatrist? Doesn't sound to me like she knows what she dealing with. I've been through 5 differant Doctors and found one that has a clue. Don't give up and keep searching. Also, go ahead and scream. I do it all the time. I go in a closet now with a pillow (ever since the neighbors called the police on me).
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