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An_250514 posted:
Um, let me start it off simple and I will progress with information if it is needed. I am "diagnosed" but from a horrible doctor, just to prove that he believes there is only one type and the others are to make things difficult. Anyways, I am very, very paranoid. Only about one thing though, females. I have never understood it and untill recently with my current girlfriend I thought my ex's were the crazy ones. She has pointed things out that caught my attention such as she is a server so her hours are all over the place fluctuating and this is the big problem with me. I can see her time ticket, her schedule, and have someone tell me she was there working and "I know" she was, its obvious and "I know" she wouldn't hurt, cheat, etc... but when shes actually at work I believe full heartedly without a doubt shes sneaking out on her break or flirting in the back or just really stupid immature stuff but it makes my brain feel flushed instantly and I'm so angry to the point of blacking out and arguing for hours, even after the physical proof was presented and "I know" I'm wrong I will still say shes lying to me and I want her to say it. It gets to the point of myself hyperventilating and telling her to just tell me what I want to here even if its not true. It "satisfies" whatever is causing this enough to get back to regular life. My gf will even tell you I'm a very nice, trustworthy, guy and our relationships great except when I have my episodes. Now I come here because I read EVERY bit of information on this site pertaining to Schizophrenia, and I am very, very open minded and willing to try anything that would help even a little. My gf is aware of this so she asked me to request some tips on how to.. more or less cope or prevent these episodes but she is not reading what I wrote so it doesn't influence what I say. Now for some medical/life history lol, My moms side of the family is all very paranoid! No actual diagnosis but they will tell you they will find something to be paranoid about, My grandmother is the worse. Almost all of her family were/are alcoholics but the ones that did quit, did it flawlessly. Almost everyone on both sides of the family smoke tobacco and/or marijuana. My dads side are all very distant with each other, its one of them families that love you face to face but make negative remarks when you're gone. A lot of alcoholism and I don't think they were so good on quitting. My father was diagnosed with Schizophrenia, Mild Agoraphobia, General Anxiety, (Saw the paper work, lived with him at the time, etc...) and he said the doctor told him Alcoholism but more then likely that was a "mask" to hide the real problems. He was prescribed Klonopin, Risperdal, Trazodone, Lithium, and the anti-alcohol pill. All generic type, taken regularly usually daily. His was noticeable a lot thought, nothing negative but just... strange. He had a phobia of bricks pretty bad, he wore a hat and sun glasses EVERY day for about 15 years, very neat and for lack of a better word, "OCD". At one point for no reason he decided to just be home-less and live on the streets for about 3 years. Free willed and genuinely happy about it. Both parents had it pretty hard growing up and had 2 kids before age 21. My dad passed away from Cardiac Arrest in 2010 as well. My mom no longer smokes, drinks or anything and has a family with my baby sister, brother and step-dad. I had a good life growing up, I mean it had its troubles but that's life, was raised to be pretty morally aware. I always seemed older then everyone and I outcasted myself because of that all my life. I did go through a year of addiction on DXM heavily regularly. I seeked help myself without anyone really knowing and over came it. On a normal basis I'm happy and fun, I have a job and very few real friends. The episodes happen anywhere from 2/ wk to 2/ mo so its very unpredictable. Any information you need I will respond with asap. THANK YOU, in advance you will help me come to peace.
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