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My Boyfriend Is Schizophrenic
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An_215625 posted:
Hi i have a boyfriend who is 22 years old and is currently getting treatment for his schizophrenia and is recovering from substance abuse. we dated when we were younger and recently got back together, i was wondering if anyone else is going through this and any tips to help the person feel better about themselves and their abilities and just how to deal with things in general. He is staying in a halfway house for right now and is going to physciatrists and therapy to get his medicine straightened out to where it works like it should. we want to work on getting jobs and a car and apartment and i wondered if there were certain characteristics that went along with this disorder. I am bi polar but have learned to control it without medicine but i was wondering like he doesnt like to talk about his problems much with me, and he is always changing the story about things and i thought it was because he didnt want to upset me but he says it isnt and sometimes doesnt remember telling me something different. He moved in with me and my parents for about a week and then moved back to the halfway house because he said he wanted to work on his self mentally before we got a place of our own, i know he loves me and he cares about me but i want to be as prepared as i can to help him. I am 21 years old and i love him to death he was my first love and this relationship is what ive wanted for the last 8 years and im gonna try with all my power to make sure this works, i know i can be there for him i just wanted any advice i can get from someone who might be in the same place or who has been there before thanks guys any advice is appreciated!!

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larsstarscanary responded:
I knew a guy who had m.i. and had a substance abuse problem. He could/did not work. His hobby seemed to be this guy who also had substance abuse issues which they abused together. I think he spent more time with that guy, abusing, than he spent with me--He and I didn't last long.
I think your boyfriend is smart to have moved out of your parents' home to go back to the halfway house to work on himself.

You are both so young. What's the rush? Have you both finished college? Do the two of you have substantial jobs so that you don't have to live at your parents' house and can be self-sufficient?
 
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SeekHelp2010 responded:
Well there is that old phrase "opposites attract" which I have found to be totally UNTRUE in life. If someone is totally opposite, there better be a few darn good things that you do together that you agree with.

Since you know of his M.I. & yourself have it (I do too) then realize this. That both of you would probably not do well in a relationship with someone who does not have it. Unless it was a LTR & you broke it to them over time. People are so judgemental these days! And even worse, they don't want to be caught up in anything that takes away from career/family /long term plans. So believe it or not, someone who has a M.I. is more likely to get along with someone who also have problems. Opposites don't attract in this case.

I would say that you should say you are there for him, and find out when he started the substance abuse. Find something he can do, like chew gum or tobacco or something else, that will be a stand-in for that.

Finally, when someone has a substance abuse problem it's likely they are just trying to replace that from something they need. It could be he needs medication. Or it could be that he needs calm. Or excitement. When that void is filled, he won't have the sub abuse probs. But no matter what, when he gets out of treatment get him on meds. And monitor him, making it an important part of his day that you see him take them. Because if he doesn't, there is little chance of him getting well.
 
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BIGRUBEN responded:
"Patience & Faith" is the key to stay together forever.
 
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An_215626 responded:
I think it's a good idea for you guys to work on your relationship and keep at it. Your boyfriend is schizophrenic and the schizophrenics hear voices. It's difficult to keep one's thoughts together and sometimes to think for yourself when one is hearing voices that comment on your thoughts and try to boss you around.

I think it's good that you guys are working on your relationship but I don't know if it's such a good idea for your boyfriend to be by himself because if he's hearing voices then he wont' feel like he's completely alone and who knows, if the voices are malevolent then it might push him over the edge unless he has some kind of support. Wish you the best.


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