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An_215659 posted:
I am emotionally drained....I am 27 years old and I have taken financial responsibility for my 29 year old schizophrenic brother. I love him very much and I am not mad at him for anything and the financial help I have given is not quid pro quo. I understand he needs help, and i understand that he cannot control this illness. what i dont understand is why in a family of 5 my mother and I are the only ones that pay for anything he needs. my dad refuses to work so he doesnt have to pay child support for the youngest one, and my sister is a narcasist who is selfish and will not even send her brother money for a soda. So friday Ijust got my paycheck and after one hour of being deposited its gone, i am literrally left with having to decide between groceries or gas to go to work again to do it all over. So i merely suggested that my father and sister help out as well. well this causes a HUGE uproar in the family and then im the one who is left crying on the couch thinking how life would be so much easier if i were dead becuase i wouldnt have to deal with all these problems, and at the end of the day my life insurance policy would ensure my brother was taken care of. My mother is a manipulator, and does this on purpose, she refuses to take responsiblity for any of her actions, and i am the one supporting her kid, and clothing the other one and then if i complain or say hey i need help too i get a guilt trip. what do i do, i wanna help my brother but i cant take the manipulation and the makin me feel like dirt scheme i cant continue to solve everyones problems but i also dont feel like i can hang on anymore
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Rookerj10 responded:
My mother is a manipulator too so I understand you on that note. Have you tried to get assistance i.e. food stamps, medicaid, ssi, etc.? It helps alot when your struggling. You could see how to claim your brother somehow since you provide for him 100%. You need to sit down and talk to someone locally since your family is not helping any so you know your options. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem that can be solved. There are many resources out there for the mentally ill and their families. Please keep your head up for yourself and your brother!
 
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larsstarscanary responded:
I agree with RookerJ10--Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Out of curiosity, do you ever consider moving out and starting your own life?--Being emotionally drained is not good. Do you attend meetings for caretakers, or anything like that?

I was totally emotionally drained when one of my relatives was sick and dying and I was caring for her. Because I had no support system, my illness was triggered. What a nightmare it was for me, a nightmare that just wouldn't end. Psychosis is no picnic.
 
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neverla replied to larsstarscanary's response:
I hope you will help me. My boyfriend of 4 years is taking care of his ex wife who is mentally ill. I am not allowed to go to his house and I was informed that no one eles is allowed there as well. she has not other family members to take care of her. He made a promise to God that he would take care of her and be there. He is with me alot and she has a care taker, I know that this mad is wonderful to me. I am needing to be able to go to his house and to know her. He informed me she is afraid of others in her safe place. Yes at times she can drive a car and perform duties such as grocery shopping. She is on several medications as well. She knows that he leaves from Fri nite till Sun nite, She is not aware of me at all. I guess you could say I am torn and know he is a wonderful caring man to take care of his ex. And I do know that it is his ex. Please help!
 
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larsstarscanary responded:
It just occurred to me that your brother must have a social worker who could get him benefits, housing, counseling, psychiatry, medication, medicaid/medicare, food stamps, etc.

You do not have to put your life on the back burner (to boil over). Who would take care of you if you burned out?

I wish you all the best.
 
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larsstarscanary replied to neverla's response:
I would let him go. I don't like being someone else's hand-me-down or seconds.

I don't think I would wait for him to finish helping her.

It just sounds like a losing situation, just waiting around.

I deserve someone who has no ties to someone else.
 
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work5 replied to larsstarscanary's response:
What is this man is loyal and loving. His ex has no where to go and no family to help her. Financially she can not work. This man is good to her and has made a committment to her. It is not his fault that the ex is sick and has no where to go at all. This man is good to her. Why does he have to pay and not get the love that he needs in his life.
 
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larsstarscanary replied to work5's response:
He's not available full-time. He's a part-time lover. It wouldn't work for me, and it must not be working for his girlfriend or she would not be here on this website.

He's getting the love of his ex and his current girlfriend. He's not "paying" anything at all.
 
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work5 replied to larsstarscanary's response:
Thank you for replying. She does not still love this man, but however does feel that I might be able to take him away and she would have no one to take care of her, financially she can not make it on her own.She does however know that he is gone on the weekends and several nites during the week. Should he have to pay for taking care of her? Does he not have the right to be loved to someone who is not ill? It times she might he worse..
You just never know.!


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