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    leanie98 posted:
    I cant take it any longer .I am so overwhelmed by life .The life that i have in my own house.I just want to say to my husband i want a divorce.I dont want to be with him anymore i dont think but i dont want to be by myself either.It is all just killing me inside.I dont seem to be good enough for anyone.I certainly am not good enough for him.My son is making jokes about the whole thing and he is hurting my feelings and it makes it worse when it comes from him even though he may not mean it that way .He is joking also but it make me feel so badly.I just want to self harm so bad even though i have not done that for years .I dont know how much i can hang on .I just want to stay in bed but in my bedroom is my husband that i just dont want to be around.I am sooooo depressed. I am also working at getting out of the house cuz it is soooo hard for me physically but emotionally too.I am trying .I have not seen my therapist for a very long time.She does not answer my calls for while if i call her and i have her email address and waiting for her to email me back but i know that will take a while too I feel hurt from that too.Am I ever going to be worth anything to anyone in my lifetime. I just want to cry all the time.I have everything pent up inside myself.i am walking on eggshells all the time. Im sorry that i just whined and complained. I just cant think straight right now. Thanks for listening

    leanie hugs and gentle hugs who can recieve them
    lovelylemontree310 responded:

    How about venturing to your front stairs? Sit on them for a little while, look at the stars, moon, and Saturn -- it's really big and bright this time of year in the eastern horizon. Take deep breaths... and don't try to think of all the things you have to do ... just right here, right now... just this one breath. And then you go on to just the next breath. And just that next one. Just this one moment.

    Living in one moment is much easier than trying to live a lifetime.
    jankearney123 replied to lovelylemontree310's response:

    very well said llt.

    leanie finda new t. who says you have to stay with the old one and yes i know its hard starting over i have done it 5 times. but its not as bad as you might fear!

    i know what its like to hate my husband! it is very hard on a person. so many things and thoughts and hugs go out to you right now. and you're right your son doesn't realize or think about what he's saying. at that age they're mindless! sorry to say i raised 2.

    do take llt advise and just live in the moment. much easier!
    slik_kitty responded:
    i knew there was something you weren't talking about. you know you can talk to me. i'm not going to run away. i am here for you. personally, i think you are very worth loving. you are good enough. it's that idiot hubby of yours who has the problem, not you. huge hugs bff.
    leanie98 replied to slik_kitty's response:
    llt i wish that i could just sit there and look at the stars and the sky.I want to take moment to moment but all the other stuff just gets in the way.I am so lonely and again all by myself outside but ya know that is the way that i want it.Do you understand that even though it almost makes no sense.
    Fran this is my new therapist.My other therapist i had for many many years her position changed I wish that I could see her she knows me so well .The new therapist is so sweet ,kind and caring but she does not get back to you in a timely manner at all.
    Kitty you are my bff You are a very caring woman.You are always there for me .I am sick of bothering you all the time.I dont want to lose you even though you say that you are not going anywhere. Thank you for all your good advice and help You are just the best .Hugs

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