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going walkabout
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An_215488 posted:
I've been here 6+ years. Subjected countless people to my insufferable stories and horrific spelling. Made friends and a few enemies.

I have cyberly witnessed births, deaths, romances, marriages, taking back of power, abuse, fighting, surrendering and just plan perserverance.

Through it all I have been supported, listened to, loved and accepted.

This walkabout journey started at the begining of this year with the removal of my avatar, stripping away of the name that stood alone and made it clear who I was. DOGDANCING.

I was able to find my voice without relying on hers to speak from.

I have known since 2006 that I needed to leave here. That I was no longer helping, that being here was harmful to others as well as myself.

That my life journey was drawing me in another direction. That my illness was hindering the clarity of my thoughts and voice.

The radiation of my thyroid in 2008 further amplified that awefullness inside of me.

That inbalance that harmed all that was within me and without me.

I found last month that not posting here and not comming here multiple times a day that .....it eased the trouble in my head a bit.

When I was a child, grandmother told me that I was a draw-er. That I had the ability to draw pain form people and ease there suffering.

I used that ability many times in my work with the elderly. ....and even here on the board.

In real life I know the techniques and skills to discharge the 'drawn' pain/energy. I can't do that with the cyber pain. So I rechanneled it into symbolic pain and words typed into cyber space.

I need to walk away and refind my balance. To find a place were my soul can breath and recover.

I found such a place yesterday. And the flowers that grew in my mental happy place overnight greated me this morning with a soothing blanket of scent.

I am taking care of me. This doesn't mean that I have ceased to care about you all. But as I have always said....the last person to try to save a drowning man is...the man drowning next to him.

I disbled the passwords on DD and rubberboa. Taken there shoes off and removed their halters. Lead them to the feild and with a slap on their rumps sent them out to pasture.

I would like to think I will not be back this way. But life doesn't always unfold as I command it to. So I'm sure this olive finger bandit will post again.

Hopefully when she does, you will find her refreshed rested and balanced.

peace be the journey

etgibneraundy

don't eat popciciles in the snow

we love you all

Tcos
Reply
 
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Off_The_Wall responded:
I am going to miss you SO much! I have tears in my eyes. You've become such a good friend to me over the years and it hurts to feel like I'm losing a friend. But I understand and I'm glad you're doing what's best for you. I honestly think I might be better off not coming here anymore either, but this website is still like a crutch for me. I still feel I need the support of those here, even though I'm very much like you and seeing the pain of others causes me even more pain. Maybe one day I will have the courage to say goodbye too. I wish you the best and hope that one day, like you said, you can return here rested and refreshed.
 
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Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
I'm going to miss you all too.

Please know that I respect your decision to leave here if it is the best thing for YOU (and it sounds like it is at least for now), but know that you have done waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more good here than harm so please don't leave here thinking otherwise.

Thank you for everything over the many years, for the eloquence and humor, honest, kindness and depth, to me and to everyone here.

Know you will always be welcome here if you should return when it makes sense to you FOR you.

(((((((hugs)))))))
We never touch people so lightly that we do not leave a trace. ~Peggy Tabor Millin
 
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jankearney123 replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
Hey Paja

I know you are doing the right thing for yourself even tho it saddens me! I hope like when i said that i was leaving the board you can come back for visits if you feel like you'd like to and you're in the right space.

GOD BLESS

I will really really really miss you. fran
 
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Headline responded:
Love to you all. (((marshmallow hugs)))

Safe, healthy journey, wherever it leads you.
Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to become the best of which you are capable. -- Coach John Wooden (1910-2010)
 
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MyDeli responded:
I will miss you too. You ALWAYS made me feel so welcome and always like I was a part of the group. I will miss your sweet and eloquent posts. You always had an outstretched arm ready to draw those in pain close to you. I love your way with words and your ability to empathize. Did I already say I will really miss you?

Take care of yourselves!!
Sometimes even to live is an act of courage- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
 
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lostkate responded:
Your words have always touched me, healed me, supported me, strengthen me, I will truly miss you but understand why.

I will always remember you. Take care.
((((hugs))))
 
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slik_kitty responded:
i'm going to miss you. you've been instrumental in helping lots of people, including me. plus i love your stories. now i wish i had saved them since i won't be seeing more of them.

take care of yourself, and if you can, just drop us a line to let us know how you are doing. you will never be forgotten here. huge hugs. love ya
 
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dem24 replied to slik_kitty's response:
i wish you well you are a great person the feels are echoed you helped so many people, all of us wish you nothing less than the best in your journey
 
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An_215489 responded:
While leaving the board I am not leaving my friends. You are welcome to email me. Be forwarded though, I can be slow at responding and I do not take conversations off the board (ie I will not disscuss SI outside of the board)

Dogdancing_tcos@hotmail.com

Kitty....bwhahahaha, YOU are not excempt from my stable of captive audiences that I can torture with my writings. I have your e-dress and I'm not afraid to use it. If you want I can email all those stories to you, I have them all still.

Caprice my offer still stands, if you would like a full set of my childrens books for your grandchildren just have Uncles cat email me some anonoumous Canadian address or some US address close enough to toss the package over the border.

B & P, my sister/bro-in-law and kids are in Texas now. Hope your state can handle some olive genes in it.

This feels right you guys. After I left the SA board a few months back it was hard and sad, but this isn't the case here. This feels okay.

Etgibneraundy

(there is no translation, its a deep emotional feeling connection expression of my people, and I say with great honor and respect to all of you.)

hangs sign out

"gone walkabout"
 
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bod27 replied to An_215489's response:
Although I will miss your caring, wonderful insights I realise when the time is right you have to do what you have to do.

Thank you for all the times your wisdom has pulled me through. With all my heart I wish you peace. Good luck with the wide expanse of the future.

everlasting hugs from myself and the Owlies (who understand all)
 
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washedaway responded:
hugs to you. take care of yourselves.

p.s...I want those stories...gonna send you me e-address :D
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles Schultz
 
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snowyowl33 responded:
(((((Paja)))))

May your new journey be gentle and healing, and may the ground under your feet be soft...I will miss you and your beautiful poetry and stories....they brought me much comfort and peace... I think you have my email already...but I will send again.... please forward them to me, and walk in strength an love my friend...

Stay Strong all of you....

Hugs
Snowy


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