This christmas was the worse christmas i ever had.I cant remember a worse one.We did not put up our tree cuz my son and esp hubby did not want to do it.my husband said that if i wanted to put it up go ahead but i am having nothing to with it.He did not want to deal with the cat either .So it was bah humbug waaay before christmas came.Christmas day came and of course we cant see family cuz we dont have a car anymore which stinks anyways.THe day was boring no one did anything different than if it was another day.Now all this time with all the stress going on I wanted to s/h soooo bad that i could not stand it.I didn't which surprising.Like most know it is a battle you have to deal with everyday.I have to make my son my motivation or I would be doing it everyday.I would not be around anymore it was not for my son.I try so hard to keep him my motivation.I will tell you though a lot of times i dont think that he is going to be enough. Okay so my husband and i got into it last night a little bit All because my son wanted to go to a friends house christmas night.Well he was really mad when he came out to me anyways.I just saw two points or the situation That we were not doing anything It was no special day for us.Just another day.My husband went on a rampage and said that he was leaving in january.Well we were going to split up anyways but not in january.If he is going to leave it would be better in february.I felt like cutting sooo badand i also felt like what is the use I just want to be gone Not wake up ever.I cant stay in this relationship anymore There is nothing to our relationship I feel bad for my 12 yr old son who hads to endure more than he should .The only reason i am still here is that beautiful 12 yrs old.My son has a severe anxiety disorder right now but lliving in this situation is not good for him He has a therapist,mentor and we have a family therapist so he does have supports .we try to be very supportive also.I cant take this anymore and dont know what i will do at this point I really dont want to be here anymoreSorry for being long winded,
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