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It's been suggested that we leave a space between the start of a post and the triggering part.

Write something innocuous in the first line. then leave some spaces between in and the subject matter. this should take care of accidentally triggering someone.

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I can finally post. TRIGGERS.
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ZeldaAlone posted:
So for the last, I dunno, 5 days or so I've been trying to come on here and post because I've needed help, but every time I tried to go anywhere other than the discussions page, I would get a 404.

Body image and SH triggers are following....

SH triggers first...

After who knows how long, I couldn't take it anymore and I cut myself. Not much, just three short little cuts.

Body image triggers....

We went to the health clinic today to get Plan B because our condom broke.

The health clinic is attached to the mall. And walking through the mall, the self-hatred started to rear it's ugly head. All these manikins with gorgeous clothes on. Gorgeous shoes and boots...nothing fit for a fat ass.

It made me wish I was skinny again so I could look good in clothes again. I'm tired of wearing tents.

And then school was letting out so all those tiny skinny little high school bitches were running around being all pretty and cute. I just wanted to die.

I feel like my husband is embarrassed to be seen with me, and I can't blame him. Who wants to be seen with a fat, frumpy, ugly girl? And I feel so bad for Lennox because I want so much to volunteer at his school when he gets old enough and he will be embarrassed by me and ridiculed by his friends for having a fat and ugly mommy.

I'm just so tired of it all. I want to stop hating me. I wish I could feel good about myself like I used to. I wish I could be pretty and sexy and gorgeous like I used to.

I wish everything was like it used to be, but now, after all these events.
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bod27 responded:
Oh (((((((((((((((Zelda))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry you have been struggling. I would just like to say you are NOT fat, frumpy or ugly. I know it's hard to believe but you aren't.

You gave birth less than 6 months ago for goodness sake. I think there must be hormones that take over as well cause a very old friend of mine was upset having given birth a few months previously that she was still a uk size 8 (normally a uk size 6) and was hating being in her 'fat', boring clothes still' - I nearly slapped her (but didn't).

the whole body image thing is such a trigger isn't it - really struggling with it myself atm - sometimes the only way I can try and get out of it is by saying the following to myself... ok so they are skinny little bitches but I bet they are miserable or they don't have the wonderful things I have in my life or they will end up in a dead end job with saggy boobs and flabby thighs etc I sometimes try and picture them in 50 years time in the most hideous outfit I can think of and with all the worst physical attributes I can think of. Childish I know but sometimes it works.

L loves you to bits. You have given him the joy that comes with being a father. Don't be too hard on yourself - rather than thinking 'he is only saying he loves me as I am because I asked him' (or something similar) you could think he is being truthful and really does love me.

Oh and by the time Lennox is ready for school you will all sorted anyway.

sorry for the rambling state of this - it's been a very long day and I have a 14 hour day tomorrow so really should go to bed.

take care and be kind to yourself

xx
 
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ZeldaAlone replied to bod27's response:
Thank you, Hans; talking to you on Facebook


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