Self Harm Community

I hope no one read my last post but if you did i have calmed down enough now that red isnt the only color i can see and i can explain...........earlier today the manager of the apts i live in paid me a visit to tell me the reason my ex-neighbor/friend moved to another apt was because of my smoking...that some how the smoke was magically going thru the walls into her apt and also that 2 other people have turned down the apt cause of my smoking and that she just pretty much blamed me for all her breathing problems even tho she lived here years before i moved in my ex-neighbor usd to smoke herself so she obviously did that to herself. I honestly dont know why i got as mad as i did but the last 2 days have been nothing but hell for me and i think that just pushed me over the edge i have stopped drinking, i havent sh'd in almost a year,the police havent been called to my apt in a very long time and the last time i called 911 was because of a horrible migraine almost 2 years ago so apperently all that is not good enough for some people i WILL NOT stop smoking its not illegal and the manager said herself she cannot make me stop but she pretty much,without coming out and saying it directly, to either buy an air purifier before the first,smoke outside, or just stop.....she has tried to get me kicked out before but im not stupid and if she tries again i will be forced to take drastic action nothing to physically hurt anyone including myself but at the end i might just have enough money to go buy myself a house and ms c (the manager) said that n ( ex-neighbor) still wants to be my friend well good for her but to me a friend does not constantly go behind someones back and tell on them like a child thats called a backstabber and this isnt the first time she has done it she is obviously to much of a chicken to tell me to my face we could have worked something out but to go behind my back to the apt manager and tell her is something a coward would do not a friend and i have gone out of my way to stick up for her....i know why she really moved and frankly good ridance yes i am still mad but at least she,n, doesnt have to worry about me doing the horrible things i wanted to do, and people wonder why im so anti-social,HA dealing with idiots like this my whole life has made me that way anyway i hope no one read my post but if you did this was the reason for it

wendy