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off_the_wall posted:
I went into therapy today fully intent on being honest about how bad I've been feeling lately. But, as usual, I chickened out and put on my "Everything is okay" act. FML
washedaway responded:

I understand...I can't tell you how many times I've done that...

I actually texted someone last night with a link to my post...and then texted again and asked them to just delete it...cause i chickened out...

You made plans to tell someone...that is a start...take it in steps...maybe next time say "i'm not ok, but i'm not ready to talk about it" let them know what you are and aren't comfortable's not an all or nothing situation

((((((hugs)))))) you can do this
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.
It's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles Schultz
TheSullenGirl responded:
OTW - maybe write and put it in an envelope -seal it - hand it over.

I would prob get myself psyched up to just do it (kind of like that first jump in the pool) and as soon as I see the T- as in literally the first moment i see them- hand it over.
off_the_wall replied to TheSullenGirl's response:
Yeah, having something in writing next time might be a good idea. But next time is days away and I'm freaking out because I just feel like I can't stand this misery another second. I have lots of DBT homework again so hopefully working on that will help and not make me feel more hopeless.
dem1211 replied to off_the_wall's response:
please cut yourself a are hurting yourself by stressing so much. you didnt fail you are not there yet as farvas the trust will know when you are ready. ireally want to say more but this phone is not easy
TheSullenGirl replied to off_the_wall's response:
Are you able to make a phone call and get seen earlier. I'm sure if they understood that you were spiraling into a crisis they would see you.

I'm not that great at understanding insurances - but I'm sure that if you were in a dire need -- they would allow it.

((hugs)) I hope you feel better today.

I'm glad that you are doing the DBT and I hope that it does help you.
off_the_wall replied to TheSullenGirl's response:
I was just there yesterday and I wasn't able to voice how I feel so in all honesty I'm not sure going back would help. Plus they (the DBT class T and my student T) told me if I got in crisis to call them and they would help over the phone, and they gave me their numbers. I just don't think I would call.... I mean, what would I say? I don't have the words and phone conversations freak me out to begin with. So far today I am okay... P and I spent the morning at the beach and it's finally warm enough for me to let her get into the water again so she was shrieking and laughing and having the best time. Maybe I'll post a pic later.
lostkate responded:
I totally understand that, I do that too. Sometimes it just happens, like Im on auto pilot. I want to tell but when it comes time to say something I just freeze and say nothing. There will be times in therapy when that doesnt happen, just be patience.


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