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penguie posted:
so i felt good

that lasted til today, hmpf!!!!

as leaving work check email and there is cryptic one from the director asking for a meeting "to discuss some things" sometime within the next week.

arrrrgh!!!! Not good not good not good!!!! STRESS STRESSS STRESSSS..such email to someone with anxiety issues not a good thing, so hoping director around tomorrow to discern what this is all about but as for tonight sleep is shot! No go nope no way. Panic set in. PMO!!! I always react like so and cannot get myself calm. Have appointment with therapist first thing in am, what luck in the timing there LOL, but would be nice to have sleep. May take the stronger seroquel tonight and some gravol and have soemone wake me in case i do fall asleep Highly doubt it though

just when i was getting my confidence back in myself! Sheesh!!! Horrible awful terrible timing!!!

Penguie wants to cry and scream and do bad things, but trying to keep self safe just typing here
Kate_Te responded:
I'm sorry Penguie -

It's amazing what people do to us without meaning to. I got a package last week from my insurance company: Living with COPD & a whole packet on Advanced Health Care Directives & a Living Will.

I was like what do they know that I don't. Am I going to die soon. Threw me off the whole day! I finally got a hold of the nurse who mailed it to me. "Oops" she said, just stuff they always send out. I advised her not to send it to people with Anxiety Disorders.

Hopefully your boss' meeting will be just as innocuous. I hope you are able to sleep tonight. Maybe some relaxation techniques before bed?

slik_kitty responded:
hugs penguie. i hope you got some sleep last night and i hope the meeting is good. insist on the meeting first thing today so you can end the anxiety. hugs
Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
It's now the next day... how was your therapy session, how are you, and did you get a chance to talk with the director?
You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
penguie replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
cant really say much but things bad, i feel like you know what

totally rattled, uncertain about next week if i want to go or not

trying to resist up and quitting and fighting to resist doing other things
Kate_Te replied to penguie's response:
I am sorry you are suffering. I hope things get better. You don't say if you had the meeting with your boss. I hope if you did that things went ok. Sounds like you are stressed out. Treat yourself gently.

rugger1369 responded:
Obviously you are going through a lot of stress and the meeting might not be negative! It could be a constructive/positive thing. I really hope it was. Keep your chin up sweetheart!
Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to penguie's response:
Whatever you decide, think it through carefully and be sure it's what you want.

If you decide to leave, that doesn't mean you have to leave next week. You could always start looking for something else in the meantime.

Either way, take care of yourself, Penguie, as you sort this out.

Remember to breathe. And have some chocolate.
You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
penguie replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
been binging this evening on minieggs, oops

next week i have an interview for a full time position in an other city about 5hrs from here

but self confidence is shaken and hard to feel good for myself and demonstrate knowledge etc etc....


I'll just eat more chocolate now
Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to penguie's response:
I understand, Penguie.

When I feel like that but have to be on my game, I pretend as if I were someone who had more confidence than I have and that seems to get me through.
You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
jankearney123 replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
I'm sorry penguie. Can you cuddle with one of your penguins tonight? That's a really great answer that caprice said above about pretending to have more confidence than she has ,.,,,,

you've got the weekend off don't you? i hope so perhaps you can call someone and do something distracting.

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