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It's been suggested that we leave a space between the start of a post and the triggering part.

Write something innocuous in the first line. then leave some spaces between in and the subject matter. this should take care of accidentally triggering someone.

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Always so negative (trigger)
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off_the_wall posted:
Possible trigger @@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@ So the end of last week and this weekend I started feeling better. I'm pretty sure it is the warm weather and all the time P and I have spent at the beach. A co-worker of my husband brought their daughter over, who is just a little older than P, and it was fun. So yesterday I had planned to come on here when I had time to say how much better I feel. Well then I went to DBT group where the therapist gave an example of someone who instead of handling their emotions correctly would always go grab their razor. And my head started spinning and I immediately wished I had a razor with me. I went home and my MIL is visiting for an undetermined amount of time (she has a house here). Well she asked me if P is sleeping through the night yet and I said, "No" and she proceeded to tell me how that wasn't right and she should have started sleeping through the night a long time ago. Then she asked if I'm still breastfeeding her and I said, "Yes" so she says," Well that's your problem, you have got to stop breastfeeding her, she's too old for that". So then I responded super defensive quoting recommendations from the WHO and AAP on how long babies should be breastfed. And I still feel just ticked off about it. Then husband and I go to bed and he tells me how she has a ton of work she needs him to do at her house this weekend. Great. On top of it all, my dog is still super sick and after spending more money than we really had to spend on her treatment, the vet is pretty much at a loss as to what is wrong with her. Mostly she just sleeps but sometimes I worry she is suffering. She has another appointment with the vet tomorrow. So.... Anytime things seem to be looking up for me, it's like they can go downhill just as fast. I know I need to change my thinking to be more positive. I was trying but now I feel like I'm fighting to keep my head above water again. Still haven't SHed but sure would like to.

Sorry this is long and all one big runon paragraph. I would try to improve it but I'm posting off the cell phone and am lucky to be posting at all.
Reply
 
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rugger1369 responded:
Hi OTW - Sounds like you have a lot going on and you are focusing on things that aren't within your control. However, you and your husband put together a fun play date and enjoyed the nice weather. Try to hold on to that moment of bliss. As for your MIL, well she is your MIL. And what worked for her, is most likely not what works for you. So, take her concerns in stride. I am sad to hear about your dog. My 14yr old jack was recently diagnosed with kidney disease. She is still lively but does sleep alot. It comes with age the vet said. As your playdate, and the lively moments with our dogs, we need to hold on to them. Hold them and allow ourselves to feel the warmth of being happy. Knowing that we can be happy and that is more than acceptable to feel so. Best wishes to you!
 
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Kate_Te replied to rugger1369's response:
Hugs ((OTW))
 
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off_the_wall replied to Kate_Te's response:
I'M SORRY BUT I HAVE TO VENT!!!!!

THIS PERSON IS MAKING ME INSANE!!! PLEASE STOP CALLING AND COMING OVER WHEN MY BABY IS SLEEPING! I REALIZE YOU WANT US TO WORK FOR YOU, LOAN YOU OUR TRUCK, AND GET ZERO THANKS IN RETURN BUT RATHER ALL WE GET TO DO IS LISTEN TO YOU CONTINUE TO COMPLAIN! YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING TO HELP US OR ANYONE ELSE OUT SO WHY DO YOU ALWAYS EXPECT EVERYONE TO HELP YOU?! LET ME TELL YOU THE KIND OF PERSON YOU ARE: YOU TAKE THE BED AND MAKE YOUR 90 YEAR OLD MOTHER SLEEP ON THE COUCH AND ON TOP OF IT YOU GIVE THE POOR OLD WOMAN ATTITUDE ABOUT IT.

AND WHY DOES MY THERAPIST EMAIL ME TO CHECK ON MY DOG AND WHEN I EMAIL HER BACK TELLING HER SHE'S NOT GOOD DO I THEN GO 24 HOURS WITHOUT HEARING BACK FROM HER? I KNOW SHE'S BUSY AND IT WAS SWEET OF HER TO CHECK ON MY DOG BUT WHY DOESN'T SHE CHECK ON ME TOO AND WHY DOESN'T SHE E-MAIL ME BACK? I HATE THERAPY!!!!
 
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off_the_wall replied to off_the_wall's response:
SORRY KATE, THAT WAS NOT IN REPLY TO YOU. THANK YOU FOR THE HUGS.
 
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Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to off_the_wall's response:
((((OTW))))

Sitting with you.

Breathe deep and slow. I hope you and P can continue to get outside. I know that lifts me up more often than not too.

And I really hope things improve for your sweet dog.
You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
 
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penguie replied to off_the_wall's response:
soft gentle hugs for you, P and you pup
 
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off_the_wall replied to penguie's response:
[TRIGGER] Trigger@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Really lost control in middle of night. Banging head so hard kept seeing bright flashes of light, pulling out hair, punching myself, cutting...... All so I wouldn't try to kill myself. I'm okay now but I scared myself and I scared my husband. I tried to use DBT skills but nothing helped. I know the therapists said to call them if I'm in crisis but I don't think that means at 2 a.m., I don't know. I survived and now just feel lots of guilt and shame.
 
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rugger1369 replied to off_the_wall's response:
Breathe. Really, in through your nose and out through your mouth- it helps me clear my head and restart so to speak. I trully hope you are feeling better. You are a survivor and there is no need for guilt. Just resolve. And I am sure if your therapist said to call during crisis, that would most certainly include 2AM!! It is atleast worth a shot to call. And you can always call the hotline WebMD provides.
 
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Kate_Te replied to off_the_wall's response:
((OTW)) Hey you survived, that's the important part. It's hard to use the skills when you are already in a Panic/Anxiety Attack. They are supposed to help you avoid them. Once you're in all out Panic there isn't much you can do but ride it out. I try to tell myself, I've been through this before, I will survive it!

Can you identify the cause of the attack or did it just happen? The hardest thing I had to learn in DBT therapy was that feelings and thoughts are sometimes the cause of my panic attacks. I always thought they were caused by a situation, but learned my mind sometimes just caused the attack through thoughts or emotions.

I agree with Rugger, if you are in crisis call your therapist. Doesn't matter if it's 2am. You might not always get someone, but it doesn't hurt to try. She may have helped you come back down after the attack (the other thing DBT skills help with).

Keep hanging in there. I hope you get some rest today. Treat yourself gently.


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