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hi otw and kate that just popped in
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jankearney123 posted:
think about you girls and hope you're ok. are you feeling any better otw? and kate can you talk here about whats bothering you?

you too otw? is mil there still? ihope she's gone soon if not already!

blessings to you both and to all my lovely gf's here!

how'd it go: love is a very splendored thing????????????
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off_the_wall responded:
Hi Fran, thank you for checking on me. I am sorry you are sick and hope you feel better soon. I still feel just awful and on top of it have had the worst insomnia- I pretty much haven't slept in days. MIL is gone but it wasn't without lots of drama before she left. Saw the T a couple days ago and it makes me so angry that I act like everything is just great with her and we talk about the most pointless topics. And DBT class is miserable- I was so embarrassed in class and I hate it. I really, really want to quit both. I'm just really depressed and spend my sleepless nights having very suicidal thoughts (though I don't intend right now to act on them.) I am also second guessing the situation I am in now, which I never did with my daughter. Makes me really sad. As quiet as I've been here lately, I guess I really needed to talk. And I just really needed someone to act like they care about me so thank you Fran so much for being that person. You have helped me so many times and I am so appreciative of it.
 
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jankearney123 replied to off_the_wall's response:
hi O

That's my new name for you is O. Like the ms. fantastic oprah. O. But you are O. The thing is with dbt and the therapist is you're doing hte surface stuff to stay safe and the dbt classes too to stay safe from feeling what you truly are feeling. you don't allow anyone in therefore not being able to get the help you truly deserve and need. O. You have helped me more than you know by telling me I've helped you so many times.
I'm very appreciative back at you O.
YOU'RE A GREAT LITTLE LADY WITH A WHOLE BUNCH TO GIVE AND A GREAT HEART. ITS OURSELVES WE DENY BECAUSE WE BECOME ENSLAVED TO OUR PAST TORTURERS. BUT YOU SEE O. THAT THEY WIN EVERY TIME YOU O. GIVE IN TO THEM. THEY WIN!

You are so young and have so much to look forward to with P and the new baker I'm presuming you're baking a lil bun?
and you don't have to throw that away ............I sit here day after day being sick with pain in my body and right now praying the pain pills will kick in and wanting to take a shower but i'm paralized. I don' tknow if i can even get in the shower and lift my leg over the tub because my leg is messed up. I'm so . Fran BUT WITH THAT BEING SAID O. THIS TOO SHALL PASS ONTO SOMETHING ELSE THAT LIFE WILL THROW MY WAY SO I'M GOING TO TRY AND LIVE IN THE MOEMNT AND DO WHAT I CAN DO. I WISH THAT FOR YOU TOO.
 
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off_the_wall replied to jankearney123's response:
I'm very sorry you are in so much pain, Fran.
 
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Kate_Te replied to off_the_wall's response:
[TRIGGER] Trigger

Hi Fran -

I too am sorry you are in so much pain. I wish I could help. How did you fall?

I am also sorry to hear the struggles you're going through OTW. I agree with Fran, you have so much to live for I hope things turn around for you soon.

As far as I'm concerned.... I don't know what's going on. About 3 weeks ago my brain started telling me to kill myself. I don't have a reason, except everyone is telling me to get a job and quit smoking. I sort of feel like no one understands me. About a week ago, my brain added images to my thoughts of suicide, and they look good. I can almost feel it. I'm afraid to tell my therapist, bc I don't want to go to the hospital. I try each day to find a reason not to do it. That's how I've survived so far. One reason, One day at a Time. Today I can't do it because I didn't speak with my brother yesterday & I don't want him to blame himself.

I really hope you feel better Fran. & OTW, I've missed you around here.

Kate

P.S. Thank you so much for asking Fran. <3
 
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Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to Kate_Te's response:
Please tell your therapist, Kate, so the two of you can work on a plan to keep yourself safe and deal with those images which feel so inviting right now. (((hugs)))

Hi OTW, have you considered writing a short note to your therapist to let her know that you need to discuss more than the superficial, since you have a difficult time vocalizing this when you're in her presence?

Having said that, I don't think that's uncommon... trust builds slowly and sometimes just talking about anything and nothing gets you there. Just keep the goal in mind that you want to eventually go deeper.

I hope you get some sleep finally.

You both have so much to give. Please keep giving to yourselves too.
You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
 
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lostkate responded:
I thought you were asking about me.
wrong kate,
 
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Kate_Te replied to lostkate's response:
I'll ask....how are you doing Kate?
 
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jankearney123 replied to Kate_Te's response:
Lostkate

I am interested in how you are doing? as is the case here often a thread gets mixed up and off doing its own thing just because that's the nature of a message board. Don't take it personal ok.

It sounds like youre not feeling to hot? can you tell us more. I will be back tomorrow to check in. can we chat then? i'm having a hard time keeping my eyes open. kate te also is asking how you are
 
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lostkate replied to jankearney123's response:
Fran and Kate_Te

Thank you both for asking, havent really been myself lately, not up to writing.

I dont think the threads are mixed up, just me.

Kate
 
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Kate_Te replied to lostkate's response:
Kate,
I'm sorry you are suffering. I'm also sorry for any confusion due to our names being the same. I love when you write on here because your posts always seem like poetry to me. I hope you get back to being yourself and share yourself with us more frequently.
Kate
 
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jankearney123 replied to Kate_Te's response:
Hi LKate
I've been in a sufferage place to because of pain and weirdo people! I reached out to 2 friends today tho and i feel a lot better.
and as soon as i write that then i feel low. things are all jacked up right now. Sounds like the are for both of you kates too.

LKate Hey tht's kinda kute! Le Kate! Or el kate.

In any event this isn't about me its about you Le Kate and how you're doing and if we can help here. Why don't you start a thread and summons some peeps up to your New nAME!
 
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lostkate replied to jankearney123's response:
Hi Fran,
Sorry you are struggling so much. Its good you have your friends to help.

I dont want to change my name, I shouldnt have to change my name, I like Kate. When I was a little kid my Dad used to call me Kate once in while. It made feel special, coming from a house full of kids that didnt happen very often.

Kate
 
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besmith75 replied to lostkate's response:
I know that this is off topic...but I love that we have two Kates. My grandmother's name was Kate. She was so beautiful and classy and I've always associated the name with those attributes.

Sorry...had to put my two cents in.

B
 
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jankearney123 replied to besmith75's response:
Kate,
I'm sorry I wasn't trying to make you unimportant quiet the contraire I was trying to make you even more important by giving you a special nick name from me because i was saying THE KATE which you are. When I've envisioned you I imagine this thin woman with beautiful chestnut hair about shoulder length with hazelish brown eyes that change color with what you wear and about 5'6" with a good figure. Inside I already know who you are! And I find that very beautiful and I wish you would post more because I really find value in what you say weather you are struggling, not struggling, not quiet feeling like yourself or whomever you are for the day.

I'M SO SORRY I MADE YOU FEEL BADLY. I WISH I COULD TAKE IT BACK. SOMETIMES I SAY REALLY REALLY STUPID THINGS. I BROKE A WHOLE JAR OF SPAGHETTI SAUCE ABOUT 20 MINS. AGO THAT MY HUSBAND HAD TO CLEAN UP. REAL SWIFT HUH?!
I HOPE YOU WILL FORGIVE MY IGNORANCE. I FORGET NOT EVERYONE IS ME (I DON'T LIKE MY NAME) AND WISH I COULD GO BACK TO FRANCENE WHICH AS A CHILD I HATED!~


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