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    It's been suggested that we leave a space between the start of a post and the triggering part.

    Write something innocuous in the first line. then leave some spaces between in and the subject matter. this should take care of accidentally triggering someone.

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    Fran and Kate
    besmith75 posted:
    I'm really worried about the two of you right now. I'm guessing that we all are. Please vent and talk and let us know if there is anything we can do to help you to get through what is going on right now. You need to make yourself a priority. If nothing else...just know that we are all behind you and support you. I can't tell you that everything is going to be okay...all I can tell you is that we're all here to do what we can to help you make things okay (or at least better).


    Kate_Te responded:
    Thanks B -
    I'm Ok right now. I keep using the STOP thoughts technique that Fran told me about. it works for a couple of minutes and then I'm back to the same bs. I am going to my father's tomorrow and expecting disaster, so that should be good. Then Monday I have to call my therapist and let her know if I want to be hospitalized again. Oh what a fun couple of days I have planned.
    jankearney123 replied to Kate_Te's response:
    hi b and k

    I've actually been able to reach out to two dear friends. One is 80 yrs. old and i didn't tell her what was going on except that i had fallen last sat. and she said she had been worried about me and was going to call me today as well so we always are on the same wave length so that's good. I didn't tak all the aspirin like i wanted to last night. I'm not sure why? but i didn't.
    then i felt a bit better so i called a dear friend that i can trust with anything and i mean anything and she's the only one that i can trust with anything. we've been friends for 35 yrs. she told me what to do about the nurse who harrassed me at thehospital. so we had a good long talk and i didn't mention to her either that i had made plans i just told her that she made me feel a whole lot better and she absolutely did! I'm going to remember who my real friends are from now on that aren't in cyber space.
    Thank you for reaching out to me and kate be.
    Kate i hope you let us know how its going after you've been at your fathers!
    Kate_Te replied to jankearney123's response:
    Fran, I'm so glad you are feeling better. I hope it keeps getting better for you! I'll probably post around 11pm my time tomorrow to let everyone know how freaked out I am.
    jankearney123 replied to Kate_Te's response:
    well i was feeling better till my daughter told me my son wanted a break from me for 30 days! i hope he doesn't call tomorrow! I really don't want to pretend to talk nicely to him. I'm as sick of him as he is of me! Im not accepted kate just like you but because of my mental illness and my weight and my curly hair! because his wife has straight hair and naturally curly but she straightens hers!
    I feel so barren so raw so sad and i must hide this from husband. its been discussed at dinner and i called hima prick right in front of my son in law and told htem all that i didn't want to talk to him tomorrow and they all said i had to. he sends me this sarcastic card witha 25.00 starbucks card in it gee thanks kid. so i'll send him a 25.00 gift card for his birthday to barnes andnobles. he likes the store. so why not. no more 150.00 birthdays from this mom. no more 500.00 xmases. NO MORE NO MORE NO MORE!
    YOU REAP WHAT YOU SO SONNY BOY! let him have his little trashy wife. and read between the lines on that one becuase when i met her (mind you in nov. its cold in colorado with snow) it had snowed and she came prancing into the pancake house with a short sundress on with a bolero sweater and boots. real cute eh? she's dresses like that when son isn't around! came to my house in fact with her sis and had on a sundress that was totally see thru and the sis said gee j i can see right thru you. and j just ignored her. i mentioned what her sis had said and he said whats the dress look like i told him and he said j's only suppose to wear that around the house! sicko. but by rights i should have kept my mouth shut. My son is gonna be one hurting guy some day but i hope he enjoys his ride cuz it aint' gonna be on my time. I'm not going to have the time of day fo rhim just like his wife wants .........she can have him. i don't want him. I've put up with his garbage all my life and he has been a hard pain in the behind to raise and i'm totally sick of him. TOTALLY! The son that i new that was generous from his heart even if it meant a homemade gift or giving a 5.00 to a bumm on larimar street is gone. she's taken him and stripped him clean but good. I can only hope some day for his own sake that he comes true to himself. he's not even going to be able to enjoy the beach for very long once he moves in july because it will be at the end of 2012 them trying for a family. the kids i will never get to see. becasue i'm sure she will be true to her word.
    Kate_Te replied to jankearney123's response:
    Fran, I'm happy you had a nice conversation with your son today. I hope you two can mend the fences a little. It's tough with kids, I don't have any, but I have plenty of nephews & nieces & I've seen what they do to their parents. ((Fran))

    On a personal note, I survived the day! Only had to excuse myself to splash cold water on my face twice. Had one moment where they noticed my hand shaking. Then had a full panic attack with my Dad in his car. I actually think this is a good thing. Maybe it will drive home the fact that I'm actually sick, not just slacking off. Told my Dad about the suicidal thoughts & images. Told him I may end up in the hospital this week. It went ok, but I was so nervous I hugged my nephew hello & said "Happy Birthday" to him. It's not his birthday, that's in February. I played it off as I only see you about once a year so I might as well tell it to you now. When I hugged my step brother good bye, I said "How ya doing?". That sounds normal right? lol

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