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washedaway posted:
it's friday...finally friday...2 whole days off work (unless I decide to work tomorrow) I want cookies...and there is my trigger space

I am wanting to hurt myself tonight. i'm tired and anxious...and i just want to cut and relieve some of the pressure. I think instead i'm going to go sleep for 14 or so hours.

i'm supposed to be at a bible study right now...but the group i do study with has more than doubled over the last few months and just the thought of being around so many people who i am supposed to actually talk and interact with makes me feel super i'm not going...but that means that the people in my group are going to be upset that i'm not there...and will probably call me on it on sunday...i don't know how to explain how being around people in that setting makes me feel. If things change gradually or if I have something specific that i'm there for (like meetings at work) but if it's a more casual setting with uncertain expectations, i kinda freak out
So...if I go, I will have crazy anxiety...and if i don't, I will have crazy's a no-win

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.
It's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles Schultz
jankearney123 responded:
hope you do go to sleep kendra. it has been a very long week but dang its already 1/2 way thru May the time has just gone crazy fast this year!. Well what if you went for 10 mins. and then have an excuse to go somewhere . the thing about anxiety is that you have to keep exposing yourself to the thing that you're anxious about until you get over it. so gradually (i think) you can do it.
Or you can call each of these peeps and tell them why you don't want to come or why you're going to come for only 10 mins and leave and try to get with it by desentising yourself to these kinds of situations. The thing is you're in the drivers seat you just don't realize it.

You do have choices. and you know what you don't have to feel guilty. You've not done anything wrong if you don't go to bible study. i mean truly if they're so Godly of people they would jump at the chance to help you! If they don't want to help you then I'd say they're a bunch of hypocrites.

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