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Write something innocuous in the first line. then leave some spaces between in and the subject matter. this should take care of accidentally triggering someone.
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New to this community
Chez1 posted:
[TRIGGER]
TRIGGER
I am new to this community, I usually post on the depression community and feel I get lots of support, I feel cared for, behaviours are challenged compassionately and not judged. Caprice suggested posting here, to be honest I have resisted because I am really unsure as to why I sh, it is a new behaviour to me (well maybe not) as 2 years ago I had a very short spate of sh, cutting into my breasts, at that time I think it was for contol, but don't know.
Now, I know I started to do it to punish myself, my mood was and remains very low, I basically don't like myself, see myself as useless, disgusting, a parasite in my families lives. Sh is good to physically show and remind me of how bad I am, how am not worthy to be around other people, well at least a few weeks ago that is why it did. I cut, slashed and gouged my breasts, only my breast but now I have escalated to other areas, more sensitive. I was also taking excessive amounts of prescribed and otc medications (no longer have access). I think I am now doing it for control, the pain and discomfort.
So why am I here, I want to understand why, why would i start this behaviour at this age (the new 30's), why is it escalating? when does it stop? I know it isn't healthy, I don't want it to become my norm? Where do I go from here?
Thank you for reading
Chez
TRIGGER
I am new to this community, I usually post on the depression community and feel I get lots of support, I feel cared for, behaviours are challenged compassionately and not judged. Caprice suggested posting here, to be honest I have resisted because I am really unsure as to why I sh, it is a new behaviour to me (well maybe not) as 2 years ago I had a very short spate of sh, cutting into my breasts, at that time I think it was for contol, but don't know.
Now, I know I started to do it to punish myself, my mood was and remains very low, I basically don't like myself, see myself as useless, disgusting, a parasite in my families lives. Sh is good to physically show and remind me of how bad I am, how am not worthy to be around other people, well at least a few weeks ago that is why it did. I cut, slashed and gouged my breasts, only my breast but now I have escalated to other areas, more sensitive. I was also taking excessive amounts of prescribed and otc medications (no longer have access). I think I am now doing it for control, the pain and discomfort.
So why am I here, I want to understand why, why would i start this behaviour at this age (the new 30's), why is it escalating? when does it stop? I know it isn't healthy, I don't want it to become my norm? Where do I go from here?
Thank you for reading
Chez
10 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:New to this community<br /><br /><br />TRIGGER<br /><br />I am new to this community, I usually post on the depression community and feel I get lots of support, I feel cared for, behaviours are challenged compassionately and not judged. Caprice suggested posting here, to be honest I have resisted because I am really unsure as to why I sh, it is a new behaviour to me (well maybe not) as 2 years ago I had a very short spate of sh, cutting into my breasts, at that time I think it was for contol, but don't know. <br /><br />Now, I know I started to do it to punish myself, my mood was and remains very low, I basically don't like myself, see myself as useless, disgusting, a parasite in my families lives. Sh is good to physically show and remind me of how bad I am, how am not worthy to be around other people, well at least a few weeks ago that is why it did. I cut, slashed and gouged my breasts, only my breast but now I have escalated to other areas, more sensitive. I was also taking excessive amounts of prescribed and otc medications (no longer have access). I think I am now doing it for control, the pain and discomfort. <br /><br />So why am I here, I want to understand why, why would i start this behaviour at this age (the new 30's), why is it escalating? when does it stop? I know it isn't healthy, I don't want it to become my norm? Where do I go from here?<br />Thank you for reading<br />Chez
niteflier responded:
Hey Chez, I wish I had the answers for you. I started early on and know it is a mixture of anger, depression and self-esteem (or there lack of).
Mine happens sporatically - i.e. when I am doing something - an easy task and I mess it up or I don't do what I know I should get done, thereby affecting others. When I grab a 'tool' at hand I do try to sit down and breathe, sometimes it works, sometimes not. I am also on medication which I believe helps me as well.
At the beginning of this community there were some helpful tips as well.
I cannot explain why we do what we do and I hope it does not become a norm for you as well.
I still see a psychiatrist and have for numerous years.
Hope this helps.
Take care of yourself and let me know how your doing.
Mine happens sporatically - i.e. when I am doing something - an easy task and I mess it up or I don't do what I know I should get done, thereby affecting others. When I grab a 'tool' at hand I do try to sit down and breathe, sometimes it works, sometimes not. I am also on medication which I believe helps me as well.
At the beginning of this community there were some helpful tips as well.
I cannot explain why we do what we do and I hope it does not become a norm for you as well.
I still see a psychiatrist and have for numerous years.
Hope this helps.
Take care of yourself and let me know how your doing.
Report This| Share this:New to this communityHey Chez, I wish I had the answers for you. I started early on and know it is a mixture of anger, depression and self-esteem (or there lack of). <br />Mine happens sporatically - i.e. when I am doing something - an easy task and I mess it up or I don't do what I know I should get done, thereby affecting others. When I grab a 'tool' at hand I do try to sit down and breathe, sometimes it works, sometimes not. I am also on medication which I believe helps me as well.<br />At the beginning of this community there were some helpful tips as well.<br />I cannot explain why we do what we do and I hope it does not become a norm for you as well. <br /> <br />I still see a psychiatrist and have for numerous years. <br /> <br />Hope this helps. <br /> <br />Take care of yourself and let me know how your doing.
Hey niteflier, gosh aren't we beginning to know each better!!!
I am so sorry you have had this for years but glad you have meds and psych to help you.
Still not sure if this is the right place for me but I do think it will be good for me to get some more insight!!
How are you tonight (this afternoon for you), have you plans for the day?
Hugs and healing thoughts
Chez x
I am so sorry you have had this for years but glad you have meds and psych to help you.
Still not sure if this is the right place for me but I do think it will be good for me to get some more insight!!
How are you tonight (this afternoon for you), have you plans for the day?
Hugs and healing thoughts
Chez x
Report This| Share this:New to this communityHey niteflier, gosh aren't we beginning to know each better!!!<br />I am so sorry you have had this for years but glad you have meds and psych to help you. <br />Still not sure if this is the right place for me but I do think it will be good for me to get some more insight!!<br />How are you tonight (this afternoon for you), have you plans for the day?<br />Hugs and healing thoughts<br />Chez x
Hey Chez, feel the same way. this afternoon went well. I actually made it to my watercolor class. Wish I would have been in a better mood while there, but at least I went and painted.....
The sun has been out for a while. I need to get my butt out in it and walk - sometimes a walk helps clear the mind, sometimes.
what about you, any plans? are you having a good day/night?
The sun has been out for a while. I need to get my butt out in it and walk - sometimes a walk helps clear the mind, sometimes.
what about you, any plans? are you having a good day/night?
Report This| Share this:New to this communityHey Chez, feel the same way. this afternoon went well. I actually made it to my watercolor class. Wish I would have been in a better mood while there, but at least I went and painted.....<br />The sun has been out for a while. I need to get my butt out in it and walk - sometimes a walk helps clear the mind, sometimes. <br />what about you, any plans? are you having a good day/night?
so so day, it is now after midnight, I really should make an effort to sleep but not ready yet.
Do go for your walk, it is always nice to be out in the sun, try and enjoy it.
Thank you for responding to me here, you make it feel like family
Hugs
Chez x
Do go for your walk, it is always nice to be out in the sun, try and enjoy it.
Thank you for responding to me here, you make it feel like family
Hugs
Chez x
Report This| Share this:New to this communityso so day, it is now after midnight, I really should make an effort to sleep but not ready yet.<br />Do go for your walk, it is always nice to be out in the sun, try and enjoy it. <br />Thank you for responding to me here, you make it feel like family<br />Hugs<br />Chez x
Hey Chaz, I hope things calm down for you and you have a good night sleep. Please take care of yourself.
by the way I meant to mention I am not sure what community to be in. I just kind of settled in the Depression one for now (got a lot of support there too), but, perhaps I will visit the ones that might be helpful (already been to the grief/loss site as well).
I'm like you, need to find out if there is a way to remove a post.
Think I am just tired of being like this.
((Hugs))
by the way I meant to mention I am not sure what community to be in. I just kind of settled in the Depression one for now (got a lot of support there too), but, perhaps I will visit the ones that might be helpful (already been to the grief/loss site as well).
I'm like you, need to find out if there is a way to remove a post.
Think I am just tired of being like this.
((Hugs))
Report This| Share this:New to this communityHey Chaz, I hope things calm down for you and you have a good night sleep. Please take care of yourself.<br /> <br />by the way I meant to mention I am not sure what community to be in. I just kind of settled in the Depression one for now (got a lot of support there too), but, perhaps I will visit the ones that might be helpful (already been to the grief/loss site as well). <br /> <br />I'm like you, need to find out if there is a way to remove a post. <br /> <br />Think I am just tired of being like this.<br /> <br />((Hugs))
You too Chez, get some peaceful sleep 
((((snoopy dances)))
((((snoopy dances)))
Report This| Share this:New to this communityYou too Chez, get some peaceful sleep <img src="http://img.webmd.com/community/images/smile.gif" align="top" border="0"><br /> <br />((((snoopy dances)))
jankearney123 replied to niteflier's response:
WELCOME TO YOU BOTH!
I hope you find comfort and feel the warmth that this board exudes from all of the many ladies here. we've been around here a long time ...........not to often have we encountered men folk.
Good luck in both your journeys of this thing we call life.
fran
I hope you find comfort and feel the warmth that this board exudes from all of the many ladies here. we've been around here a long time ...........not to often have we encountered men folk.
Good luck in both your journeys of this thing we call life.
fran
Report This| Share this:New to this communityWELCOME TO YOU BOTH!<br /> <br />I hope you find comfort and feel the warmth that this board exudes from all of the many ladies here. we've been around here a long time ...........not to often have we encountered men folk.<br /> <br />Good luck in both your journeys of this thing we call life.<br /> <br />fran
Chez1 replied to jankearney123's response:
Many thanks Fran
Take Care
Chez x
Take Care
Chez x
slik_kitty replied to niteflier's response:
welcome to you both. there are many of us who frequent more than one site on webmd, cuz each site deals with different issues, and in the mental health area alot of them go hand in hand. sh goes hand in hand with depression and bipolar. for those of us who sh, grief/loss can make us want to do it more. we go on the boards that will help us. if it takes more than one board, that is not a problem. we take the help where we can get it.
Report This| Share this:New to this communitywelcome to you both. there are many of us who frequent more than one site on webmd, cuz each site deals with different issues, and in the mental health area alot of them go hand in hand. sh goes hand in hand with depression and bipolar. for those of us who sh, grief/loss can make us want to do it more. we go on the boards that will help us. if it takes more than one board, that is not a problem. we take the help where we can get it.
Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
Welcome here, Chez.
Often it takes delving in (with a therapist) to what is bring up the emotions causing you to want to self harm in the first place, along with replacing this unhealthy coping strategy with healthier ones... and that can take time and practice.
FYI, I didn't say it on the other board but will say it here... there was a time when I was a self injurer as well. It's been many years now but I still understand it and the complexities often involved (in my case, childhood sexual abuse and more). Doesn't make me an expert but I wanted you to know that it is possible to leave it behind. (((hugs)))
Often it takes delving in (with a therapist) to what is bring up the emotions causing you to want to self harm in the first place, along with replacing this unhealthy coping strategy with healthier ones... and that can take time and practice.
FYI, I didn't say it on the other board but will say it here... there was a time when I was a self injurer as well. It's been many years now but I still understand it and the complexities often involved (in my case, childhood sexual abuse and more). Doesn't make me an expert but I wanted you to know that it is possible to leave it behind. (((hugs)))
You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
Report This| Share this:New to this communityWelcome here, Chez. <img src="http://img.webmd.com/community/images/smile.gif" align="top" border="0"><br /><br />Often it takes delving in (with a therapist) to what is bring up the emotions causing you to want to self harm in the first place, along with replacing this unhealthy coping strategy with healthier ones... and that can take time and practice.<br /><br />FYI, I didn't say it on the other board but will say it here... there was a time when I was a self injurer as well. It's been many years now but I still understand it and the complexities often involved (in my case, childhood sexual abuse and more). Doesn't make me an expert but I wanted you to know that it is possible to leave it behind. (((hugs)))
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