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socalmsg posted:
good afternoon everyone, a couple of you may remember me from a week or so ago. i responded to someone's post. i mentioned previously that i am new to this community. this is my second post. i truly hate to burden you with something so deep and uncomfortable as this, but, well........................i don't even know how to say this. there is a person who hurt me badly two weeks ago and i had almost gotten over it and was feeling much stronger, then i fell for his antics again recently and he pulled the exact same stunt and hurt me again. i mean badly. this is the second time in a month that i am rapidly moving downward in an emotional spiral. i am not generally nor have i ever been a depressed person, yet here i am again, rock bottom and at a dangerous place emotionally just two weeks later. again, please forgive me for sharing such heavy and graphic stuff when i dont really know any of you. i am just desperate for a place to reach out to with others who are at least familiar with what i am going through. i hurt myself about thirty minutes ago. i had been clean of self harm for just over three years. thank you for listening.
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Kate_Te responded:
SoCalMSG,
don't apologize for posting here. It's what we all do, we post our problems, our solutions and sometimes we just vent. I think most of us here have hurt ourselves over a guy, I know I have. The worst is the guilt you put on yourself for falling for his stuff again.
I want you to know, you're only human. We all make mistakes, don't beat yourself up over it. Try to tell yourself, you are ok, just the way you are. Take some deep breaths and most importantly, throw the razor, knife, whatever you used, away.
If you feel you can't keep yourself safe, call the crisis line on the left. I'd recommend you do something for you tonight (self soothe) a candy bar, some ice cream, a long bath, something just for yourself.
If you have a therapist, call her/him and get in to see them tomorrow if possible. You need to talk this out so you don't fall for his crap again.
(((Hugs))) if okay.
Kate
 
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besmith75 replied to Kate_Te's response:
I agree with Kate. Never apologize for anything you post on here. If you don't talk about it, then it's easy to hold it in and forget it ever happened. Putting it out there makes it real...which as scary as that is...that's how it needs to be in order for you to heal. I don't know your situation but my gut reaction is to do whatever you can to stay away from this person. I know...that's generally a lot easier said than done. Your first priority needs to be YOU. You need to keep yourself safe. On this board you will find sisters, friends, mentors, teachers, and students. We all fill those roles and that's why we are all here. To help one another through these dark places. We are familiar with where you are at and are standing at your side. I like Kate's suggestions. Self soothe. But (and here is the big but) keep a crisis line number on hand just in case. Trust me...you are not alone. Just knowing that has gotten me through some dark moments myself. Please let us know how you are doing. (((Hugs))) also if okay...

Live with Love

B
 
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jankearney123 replied to Kate_Te's response:
hi SoCalMSG

(((((((((((((so)))))))))))))))))

That is some great time you got there staying sh free! i think like kate said you should do some self pampering...........get rid of the weapons.

the thing is when we beat ourselves up over stuff it creates the cycle I know i'm in one right now. so if you can interupt the cycle and just know that whatever it is that happened is on him apparently and not discount the fact that there are some real slick talkers movers out there and so many people men or women fall for them. We're all human and have needs such as love that (I feel) is a need.

i think what kate wrote makes perfectly good sense! No one is worth hurting yourself over eh?


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