====================================================== ====================================================== ======================== My anxiety is through the roof tonight. As usual, there is no determinable reason. My mind is going to bad places. I think I might end up going to bed early. I'm going to download one of those guided imagery meditations that I recommended to lexismom.
I just hate when it takes over me. I feel so helpless. I have the tools, but they are so hard to use when the desire is so great. I had a good day, no issues, no reason for this. I hate this crap.
Hope the guided imagery meditation is helping or that you were able to just go to bed and get some good sleep.
I find that I often have stronger urges after a "good" day than I do after a mediocre or slightly bad day. I know how to deal with "blah" or "bad" but my brain is just not used to "good" so it tries to throw something familiar at me...even if it's not healthy.
Know you are not alone in this.
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles Schultz
[TRIGGER] TRIGGER.............................................................. I ADMIRE YOU VERY MUCH KATE TE AND KENDRA AND SO MANY OF YOU HERE. THIS IS SO WEIRD THAT THIS TOPIC CAME UP TODAY BECAUSE THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG WITH MY DAY IT WAS A CALM DAY BASICALLY AND DIDN'T HAVE A PROBLEM TO SPEAK OF EXCEPT THE SELF LOATHING FROM MY GAINING WEIGHT SO I'VE SH'D ABOUT 10 TIMES TONIGHT. I JUST DON'T CARE ANYMORE AND KATE TE AND KENDRA I HOPE YOU BOTH WENT TO BED. I'VE WANTED TO BADLY TO TRY TO SET A GOOD EXAMPLE
FOR THIS BOARD BUT I HAVE FAILED. I JUST NEED TO INJURE. I JUST ACCEPT THAT THIS IS HOW I'M GOING TO DEAL WITH THINGS END OF STORY! I'M NOT CALLING CRISIS LINES ANYMORE AND I'M NOT GOING TO DO THINGS EXCEPT EAT WHAT TASTES GOOD TO ME AND GAIN MORE WEIGHT TILL I JUST DIE FROM ALL OF THE SIDE EFFECTS OF ALL THE MEDS I TAKE TO KEEP THIS AND THAT FROM HAPPENING!
SOORRY TO HIJACK THIS THREAD I DIDN'T MEAN TO THE WORDS JUST STARTED COMING OUT. ALSO I CAN BE COVERT AND HIDE BETTER THIS WAY . I JUST AGREE WITH WHATEVER IS PUT IN FRONT OF ME. ALL MY DOCS HATE ME. ESPECIALLY MY T AND PCP. I AM NOTHING BUT TROUBLE. SO JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME.
Fran - I know what your talking about trying to set a good example for the board, but you don't have to, any more than I do. We are on this board for ourselves, for our issues. When we are able, we can support others, but the main reason we are here is for ourselves.
We both have issues that cause us to SH. When those issues become too much, we need to talk about them. That's what the board is here for. Please keep fighting Fran, I have truly loved getting to know you and don't want to loose you.
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