Self Harm Community

OTW -

You're only a failure if you let this stop your from trying to get better. Ok, this particular set up didn't work for you; so start looking for another. Start looking on the web for therapists that practice CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) or DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy). Then check with your insurance to see if these therapists are covered.

You may feel like this was your only chance, but trust me it wasn't. There are others out there. Maybe just working one on one with a CBT or DBT therapist would work better for you, given your social anxieties.

Keep looking, Keep fighting!! You will get better!!

Kate

I READ SOMETHING SOMEWHERE THAT ITS ONLY FAILURE IF YOU DIE OVER IT

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I won't be looking for a new therapist. This has all just been way too much for me and I've had numerous therapists in the past and they NEVER work out. I'm pretty sure this is the longest I have ever stuck with a therapist and it's only been about 3 months. It makes me feel worse than ever and I don't want to put myself through this again. And I do believe you can fail at things that don't kill you (though there are times it feels this just might kill me.) In my e-mail I told her that I hoped she's understands and won't keep charging me for the services I won't be receiving. She wrote back saying, "Actually I do not understand. Call me tomorrow". I e-mailed back and told her I had nothing to discuss, I've made up my mind.

Hate this, hate this, hate this, hate this!!! Sooooo upset!!!!!!! I know ODing while pregnant would be a really stupid and selfish thing to do, so why can't I get it out of my mind? I won't but I wish the thought wasn't so strong. Must think of other ways to SH to make due because the cutting isn't feeling like enough.

OTW IN A HUNDRED YEARS FROM NOW IT WON'T MATTER AT ALL. IN TEN YEARS IT WON'T MATTER.
PLEASE TRY SOME DEEP BREATHING TO CALM DOWN. WHAT IF YOU ACCIDENTALLY DO SOMETHING THAT ENDANGERS THAT BABY? YOU'D NEVER FORGIVE YOURSELF.
PLEASE JUST STOP AND THINK THIS THRU FROM THE BEGINNING TO THE VERY END OF YOUR ACTIONS YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT. YOU MIGHT FIND THAT THE END RESULTS OF YOUR ACTIONS MIGHT BE WORSE THAN YOU HAD EXPECTED.
I ALWAYS WONDERED IF YOU SH IF THE DOC SEES IF THEY WOULD CONSIDER YOU AT RISK TO YOUR KIDS?
I DUNNO? MY KIDS WERE WAY OLDER WHEN I WAS DOING THE REALLY BAD STUFF SO SINCE MY HUBBY WAS INVOLVED THEY NEVER DID ANYTHING BUT ........
WANT THE BEST FOR YOU.
ACTUALLY IF THIS IS THE LONGEST YOU'VE EVER WENT WITH THERAPY OF ANY KIND AND YOU TOOK THESE CLASSES THAT SAYS A LOT! YOU'VE REALLY TRIED HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I THINK) THAT YOU'VE DONE A REALLY GOOD JOB! STELLAR JUST STELLAR.

PERHAPS SOMEDAY WHEN YOU CAN BE READY IT WILL HAPPEN UNTIL THEN WHY DON'T YOU QUIT BEATING YOURSELF UP AND DO SOMETHING NICE FOR YOURSELF. YOU MADE A DECISION THAT YOU'VE ANGUISHED OVER FOR SO LONG 3 MOS. OTW THATS A LONG TIME GIVEN NEVER BEING ABLE TO GO TO THERAPY!

I'M VERY PROUD OF YOU AND I THINK YOU DID THE BEST YOU COULD DO! THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS. WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS IS IRRELEVANT. CAN YOU GIVE YOURSELF SOME KUDDOS FOR MAKING IT HALF WAY. YOU HAVE SOME MATERIALS AND SKILLS EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T GET IT IN CLASS. KATE TE AND I AND KITTY KNOW DBT AND CAN HELP YOU. YOU TAKE CARE AND PLEASE DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF OK.

HUGGERS.......((((((((((((((((OTW))))))))))))))))))))

this may sound mean but it is only because i care. y tou need to stop. i saw the first line of this thread and it upset to see my friend sayying that hurttng herself feels better than getting help

share this with you. when i went into the hospital in march. i heard some thing that i wasnt .suppose to hear. i wanted to hurt myself. because i knew that it is was never going to end . when my t told pdoc what iwas wanting to doo he acccused me of playing games

I was so angry . he didnt know how ifelt . i called him on it twice. both times he became angry and said he never said it i know what i heard. It had me turning on ny t.which was really hard for me because he has been there for me .i was ready to quit. but the end result was he is no longer my pdoc

I almost threw thing that means threw it all away. you need to do this dont give up. you mean so much to so many . we need you to be healthy. try looking with in yourself on what is keeping yourself from the proccess

fran is right. you have the dbt materials and can work on it on your own. we have been through it and it really does help. so try working on it on your own, and if you have questions we can help.

So the instructor t emailed back and just kind of coldly said,"Come to class tonight and I will meet with you briefly after." What part of,"I quit" does she not understand? I have nothing to say to her and if I attend class then I feel I'll also be expected to stay after for my individual session with the student t. At this point I don't think I can attend even if I wanted to because this has my anxiety so far through the roof. Maybe she really is clueless as to what all has been going on (in which case she isn't meeting weekly with her student like she told me she would) and I actually do need to email her an explanation of what's going on. I know she hates dealing with things in email but I do NOT want to go back there.

I have a masters degree in MSU! SO DO YOU!

HOW DO YOU HONESTLY KNOW SHE KIND OF COLDLY SAID COME TO CLASS TONIGHT AND I WILL MEET WITH YOU BRIEFLY AFTER.?????????????? HOW IS THAT COLD?????
DO YOU KNOW WHAT MSU STAND S FOR? MAKING STUFF UP! HA HA WE ALL DO IT EVERYONE DOES IT.
BUT YOU AND I HAVE DEGREES IN IT!
WHY NOT HAVE THE COURAGE TO FIGHT AND DEFEND YOURSELF AND TELL HER TO HER FACE WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THE SITUATION?! YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO DO IT FOR YOURSELF SOONER OR LATER.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO IF ONE OF YOUR BABIES IS ATTACKED BY ANOTHER PARENT OR TEACHER? AND THEN THEY ATTACK YOU?

BETTER TO GO AND GET YOUR MONEY BACK THAT THEY WILL CHARGE YOU IF YOU SIGNED A CONTRACT I WOULD THINK. YOU HAVE IT IN YOU OTW YOU JUST NEED TO TAP INTO IT. YOU HAVE A LOT OF COURAGE AND YOU ARE A SURVIVOR! LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE SURVIVED TO THIS POINT!

I WOULD GO AND TELL THEM HIGH ON THE MOUNTAIN WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! THEY ARE THE T'S THEY HAVE TO TAKE IT! THEY ARE THERE FOR YOUR BETTERMENT THAT IS ALL.

I AM SOOOO MAD! THE INSTRUCTOR T EMAILED ME BACK AND SAID I SHOULD PROBABLY KEEP ATTENDING CLASS SINCE I'M GOING TO HAVE TO KEEP PAYING FOR IT ANYWAY! IN OTHER WORDS, EVEN THOUGH I DROPPED OUT SHE IS GOING TO KEEP CHARGING ME FOR IT EVEN THOUGH I NICELY ASKED HER TO LET ME OUT OF IT. I DID SIGN A CONTRACT SAYING I WOULD STAY IN IT FOR 6 MONTHS BUT I FIGURED IF I DROPPED OUT FOR GOOD SHE WOULDN'T KEEP CHARGING ME FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS NOT GOING TO ENCOURAGE ME TO KEEP ATTENDING BUT RATHER JUST MAKES ME HATE IT ALL THE MORE!!!!!!!!

time to take a time out..............go for a walk with P, go to the ocean and make mud pies, or make a fort. do something distracting cleaning, window shopping, starbucks, library........you get the idea.

then after you get home do some deep breathing and relaxation.
i don't know if p has already had her nap or not but lay down too
and just visualize something really nice that you've done in the past. it can be a bunch of things.

I think your stuck into a binding contract you signed and i remember you telling us that you had to go or forfiet. You might as well go and get the most out of it that you can.

take er easy ok. huggers me

THERE'S ZERO WAY I'M GOING, I'M SO MAD ABOUT THIS. I E-MAILED BACK A REALLY LONG E-MAIL TRYING TO EXPLAIN WHY I'M NOT RETURNING AND HOPING TO WORK THINGS OUT WHERE SHE ISN'T GOING TO CONTINUE TO CHARGE ME FOR SERVICES I'M NOT RECEIVING (I COPIED IN AN EMAIL SHE SENT ME BEFORE I EVEN STARTED THAT SAID IF THINGS WEREN'T WORKING OUT THAT SHE'S A REASONABLE PERSON AND SOMETHING COULD BE WORKED OUT. SO NOW I'M WAITING FOR HER TO TELL ME HOW WE'RE GOING TO WORK THIS OUT. BUT YEAH, IF SHE THOUGHT BY SAYING THAT IT WOULD ENCOURAGE ME TO CONTINUE GOING THEN SHE IS VERY WRONG BECAUSE IT HAS DONE THE OPPOSITE. DESPITE BEING SO MAD ABOUT THIS, I DID WRITE HER A VERY CIVIL EMAIL TRYING TO WORK THIS OUT.