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All communities will be placed in read-only mode (you will be able to see and search for posts but not start or reply to discussions) as we conduct maintenance. We will make another announcement when posting is re-opened. Thank you for your continued support and patience, and if you have any further questions, please email

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It's been suggested that we leave a space between the start of a post and the triggering part.

Write something innocuous in the first line. then leave some spaces between in and the subject matter. this should take care of accidentally triggering someone.

How and Why to Report a Post
really struggling - trigger (SA/SI)
washedaway posted:
  • *************************************************************

    I know I will be ok in a few days...but right now i am having a really hard time.

    i want to hurt myself, but i don't...i want to go do something stupid and put myself in a position to let someone else hurt me. i can't tell this to's stupid...i don't really understand it...i just know that right now, that i want to be hurt badly in multiple ways by someone other than me.

    i know that this is not necessarily uncommon for SA survivors...but it still is totally illogical and makes me feel incredibly stupid...which just triggers me more

    feel like i'm sitting alone in the dark...i know that the light will be back eventually...but for now i just hate myself

    if anyone is out there...thanks for hearing me
    Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.
    It's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles Schultz
  • Reply
    DOGDANCING_TCOS responded:
    I see you dear one. I understand what you are saying.

    Been there myselves.

    may the night pass quickly and the warm sunlight great you with its comforting brightness.

    I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.
    washedaway replied to DOGDANCING_TCOS's response:
    thank you for seeing me...feeling slightly less lost in the dark today...

    strong urges to put myself in a position to be sexually/physically assaulted are easing somewhat...still there...but less forceful

    irritable and angry today...about flipped out cause the girls at subway didn't cut the meat for my flag...

    trying to use one of my last two major homework assignments to distract from the feelings today...and trying to breath...
    Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.
    It's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles Schultz
    socalmsg responded:
    hi washedaway, just read your post and wanted to leave a message for you. i was touched by the last words in your post. i am commenting here to let you know that there ARE people out there that care. i am "out here" and i do hear you. as i have mentioned to other people in this community, i feel kind of strange communicating with people who i dont know and who dont know me, but in a way i find it helpful to reach out to people who are also struggling and have them reach out to me, too. i am not sure what an SA survivor is. please let me know. i am familiar with the desire to self injury and i want to commend you for being strong and refusing to take action on the desire to self harm even when you are at a low point emotionally. please hang in there. i want you to pull through.
    off_the_wall responded:
    I hear you and can understand because I often feel the same way. I hope things are improving for you now.
    besmith75 replied to off_the_wall's response:
    I know that you posted this a couple of days ago...but I've been off of the board for a week or so. I've had some healing to do. All I can say is that nothing you said is 'stupid'. I've been there...and I know exactly how you feel. I did not experience SA as a child...but I experienced an extremely violent assault as a teenager. Sorry...that may be a trigger. I just want you to know that more than one of us here know what you mean and how you feel. It makes sense to us. I hope that you are feeling stronger and keeping yourself safe.

    washedaway replied to socalmsg's response:
  • **************************Trigger************************

    Hi SoCal...Thank you for responding...SA Survivor is either sexual abuse survivor or sexual assault survivor
    Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.
    It's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles Schultz
    washedaway replied to off_the_wall's response:
    Thanks OTW...things are improving somewhat...still having urges but not so irresistable
    Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.
    It's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles Schultz
    washedaway replied to besmith75's response:
    Thanks B


    Hope you are healing well and doing better
    Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.
    It's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles Schultz

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