Self Harm Community

I can see how you would be frustrated and upset over the situation because I would be to. Just remember in the future to never sign a contract for services like therapy. I don't see a reason why you should have to. If the therapist is good enough, they will not need a contract because the client will want to come back. I hope you don't see all therapists in this light because there are some out there who are not in it for the money. Just don't sign a contract. The therapist should be good enough to keep you as a client on their own.

Never is a long time, B.

In law school, I was taught to analyze and then solve problems. If that's not what you need to hear right now, I apologize.

I saw this coming a mile away. Therapists don't make you sign contracts for no reason. And I imagine that this particular therapist made you sign the contract because she's had any number of people do the same thing you did -- attend for a while and then flee. That is, agreed, about the money, but it's also a commitment on her part to try, for those six months, to help you in the best way she can.

So here's the beef: She's going to get that $800 from you, whether you have therapy or not. She's going to file in small-claims court and they judge will rule in her favor. The way I see it is that you have two choices: continue to avoid her and simply pay when you get the judgement, or go back to therapy to get what you paid for anyway. All things considered, $800 is actually an incredible bargain for DBT and a "therapy" session afterward (I understand your intense dislike for the student you got stuck with). I personally can't stand to pay for what I don't use, and I'm thinking I'm not the only one that feels that way.

It's up to you. Maybe you could call her up, ask her to scrap DBT for sessions with her rather than the student and that point you'd be willing to fulfill the contract.

You must feel hurt, taken advantage of, and persecuted. That's not easy. But you must keep your wits about you and be able to think clearly about this. The $800 will have to be paid anyway. What are you going to do about it?

First, I agree with most of what Lovely Lemon wrote. Except the small claims court ordeal. I'm not certain if it varies by state but here, even if you win in small claims court, it does not mean you will ever see the money. Unless you garnish wages, put liens against the person, go after their State or Federal taxes, there isn't much the "winner" can do.

Can you ask her if you can make payments that you can afford each month until paid off? Can you apply for financial assistance with a State Agency? Can you ask your church for help? Here in Vermont, you can not be denied care based on ability to pay. If the therapist takes a loss under bad debt, the therapist carries insurance. And yes, you signed a contract with the therapist, this does not mean you were in the "right frame of mind" when you did so. So if this went to court, it is not a definate that the therapist would win.

In seeking care, state up front if you can not pay. Be honest about your financial situation. There are many providers out there who will see people regardless of their ability to pay. My therapist is one and the psychiatrist is another. My primary is a third... They all accept my medicare and do not require me to pay my portion. So please do not give up. Do not say Never...

I just feel lied to. When I was looking into her services I stated in an email that I was concerned about signing a 6 month contract because if it made things worse for me I would not want to have to continue. Her response was, "The reason I have people sign a contract is because people with BPD tend to have problems staying with therapy so it is to encourage you not to quit. But I am a reasonable person and if things aren't working for you we could discuss other options because we certainly don't want you doing something that would make things worse".

Well, that's clearly not the case. Obviously now to her it is only about the money. I could not in good conscience charge someone for services I wasn't providing for them but obviously myself and Gwen have different morals.

Yeah I'm going to have to pay the money because she has made it clear she is going to take me to court over it (according to her email she is sending me a letter by certified mail confirming this). But I don't see any reason for me to go in and also waste my time meeting with this crook.

Just so upset over this. I hate therapists.

I would agree with lovely in her entirety. A mental health professional would know what she couldf already get away ina law of court and if you were of sound mind or not. they don't argue cases like that becaue it ties up the judicial system unless its for murder or something heineious.

i can totally understand you being upset but who are you hurting? you! the child inside you? P? your husband? but mostly you because unless you have that email and can provide it to a law of court then i don't think yhou have a leg to stand on. if you had the email you could send it to her and send a bogus legal letter with a cc to a lawyer that you make up. ive done that before and its worked with a neighboor anyway.

don't have to hurt yourself anymore. why don't you learn the dbt and ask to meet with her and write a good letter of why becuse of how crummy and ignorant the student is. if she won't go on that premise then i would say she's a crook and i'd fight it. the only thing that i want to point out to you otw is that therapists have to make a living too. its a business like any other kind of business. my therapists in many occassions have let me know its their job. it came out kinda unexpectadely but it is a job otw. i've been in the system for over 20 years and tho i've belly ached about a fewof my t's it really was me who needed to change not the t.

I would say in my experience 99% of the t's i've had have been really caring intersted nice human beings who did their job tgo the best of their ability. i've only had one t who was a creep! that is the 1%.

keep us posted and after the dust settle a little maybe you can open up a chamber and let some light in.

OTW-

I would agree with LLT. But, I would also remind the therapist of her original statement about other options and ask what those might be. There might be something that would help, not saying there is, but until you find out what those other options are you don't know.

I wish you the best of luck with this. Obviously a horrible situation, I send you nothing but good thoughts.

Kate_Te

The therapist was extraordinarily nebulous in what she said you two could work out. She provided no "other options" or contingency plans, she made no promises. And the contract is the promise. All parts of the contract are present, you signed in good faith, as did she, and that's what a court will look at (I had an entire SEMESTER of "Contracts" class... believe me, I know of what I speak). Even if there was less nebulousness in the email she sent to you, you two never agreed on that. Therefore, although it was provided as an afterthought, that's not what a court will look at.

And while there are all kinds of good intentions in not being denied your care because of your inability to pay, as in Vermont (*waves to MandyCakes, a fellow New Englander*), that's not what's going on here. You have decided to remove yourself from services, having established by your payment history that you can pay for them. It's a cut-and-dry breach of contract case.

I do think that if you asked to see her and throw DBT to the wind, she would agree to honor the contract, but the thing is -- will you? Will you simply do the same thing -- try for a little while, find your discomfort intolerable, and then run for the hills? I don't mean to sound like I'm chewing you out, B, but you made a commitment and she has every intention of seeing it through. Therapy is a commitment, especially for people like you and I who have complex, deep-seated issues. It's not the kind of thing you can just take as a lark, it takes long, hard, uncomfortable, horrible work. If you were unwilling to commit, you never should have signed in the first place.

This is what my dad describes as a self-punishing act. You don't have to do anything beyond what you already have to find that your actions have serious consequences. It often teaches a lesson as well.

I worry about how you will react to this. I don't want to upset you more than you already are. And I don't want you to act on the upset, either, and you know what I mean.

Think it over for a couple days. Maybe, as Fran said, once the dust settles a little and the sun comes up tomorrow things will have a different perspective.

I know therapists run a business but in my opinion it is bad business to charge someone for services they are not receiving. Yes I signed a contract but there is no reason she can't release me from that contract.

Weeks ago I did ask what my options are. At that time she gave two options: return to therapy or don't return but have to pay anyway. Now apparently there is one more option: not pay and get taken to court.

Oh yeah, this is so helpful. I already feel like everyone is against me. I already know I am learning a lesson the hard way. And that lesson is to never trust anyone, most especially not a therapist, again.

I'm sorry OTW. (((((hugs)))))

you know none of here are against you. we just want you to be ok. you could report her to the state medical board.. you cant not do anything

otw i'm sorry you feel so raw. i REALLY DO! I speak to you from my heart not becaze i want to be mean to you at all. I'm not saying i agree with how this t went about things but she was trying to do you a service by making it hard for you to get out of the contracdt and get yourself some help. Even in the end by saying she'll take you to court.
You can look up online her name thru the regulatory agency in your state that liscenses professionals. You can check her out and see if this is really her common practice to take her patients to court. If you find that in fact this is common practice then I'd sue her behind for false representation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and you'd have a strong out if it went to court.
If you don't find the evidence that she's went to court a lot more than twice i feel is a lot then It's my opinion that she's in ernst trying to help her clients. check it out. You don't have to be a victim okay?

WITH MUCH RESPECT, LOVE AND HUGGS me

Thank y'all for the support.