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Write something innocuous in the first line. then leave some spaces between in and the subject matter. this should take care of accidentally triggering someone.

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A VERY VERY BAD DAY........
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nopoin posted:
[TRIGGER] CAUTION MAY TRIGGER..........................................................................

Well today started out good, but when I was time to get my med refilled and I didn't do it the way my mother-in-law wanted me to It sent into a rage, which in turn triggered me with a flood of emotions, my wanting to S-I didn't kick for once, but what did I don't understand where it came from, All I wanted to do was up my dose of one of my meds just so that I might forget today. It's hard to believe that I was thinking that my kids were better off without their mother because lately I've been have more bad days than good. Things just don't feel right. I called my family counselor about 4 hours ago and confessed about what I wanted to do and asked her to call and check on me tomorrow, and promised her I would not drive my car any more tonight. I was trying to hold every thing together untill I got home and had an unmarked envelope addressed to me that held a paper from a local hotel and who rented the room, My husband lied to me when I asked a month ago if he had been cheating on me since I was in the hospital. now I find out for sure hes was and that the last time was last month, What the heck am I going to do? my own self is messed up right now the last thing I need to deal with is him. Just need to vent I guess so maybe I can keep myself straight and by pass my plans for tonight, so I can see another day.
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lostkate responded:
Im sorry not much for words tonight, bad day too. I do hear you, tomorrow will be a better day for both of us.
 
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KatMit524 responded:
Sorry that today sucked so much. Try to focus in on some good memories that you have stored in your mind, memories of fun days spent with your kids, happy moments, silly things they've done that make you smile....sometimes concentrating more on these as opposed to all the "bad" will chase the "bad" away.

Your right, you don't have room for your hubby's crap right now, so for now let it go. There's nothing you can do to fix it or undo it, right? You were pretty sure it was happening, you've got confirmation, okay so what. Just leave it.

Focus on you and getting yourself back on track to safety and healthiness. Focus on your children and knowing each day that they need a safe place to be, a mommy who's "with it" to take care of them and keep them safe. Focus on what's important. When things have calmed down and your feeling more in control of yourself, then you can confront your husband. Doing it now will just be brash, quick thought, un-developed thoughts.....this is something you need to consider and also consider what your next step is. You need time to process and get to a point where you can discuss this semi-rationally, otherwise why discuss it at all?

I sincerely hope tomorrow is better. When the bad thoughts and feelings try to take over, reach inside, breath deep and find those happier more pleasant thoughts to replace the "bad".

Take care,
 
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jankearney123 replied to KatMit524's response:
Hi Nopoin
I'm very sorry to hear of all that's going on for you. You must feel extremely (isn't even the word!) betrayed and more than upset by what you wrote. I know i get besides myself too.

I think the poster above made very good sense. can you get into see your t asap. i think you need some real support right now.

you will need a plan ........you will need to get back on your feet and fight for yourself and your children. if you can't fight for yourself then fight for yourself. they really do need you and they would never forget every time your birthday or mothers day comes around that they lost you. They need you as much as you need them.

God Speed No poin I'm sending you my prayers and even if you don't believe in prayers just think of it as good juju thats all any of its meant to be!

I hope you get on your feet real soon. me
 
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rugger1369 responded:
Deep breathe. I am sorry for your bad day, along with the dreadful news. Is this something you wish to work through with him? Have you talked with anyone about it? It definitely needs to be talked about, don't let it boil up inside you. I am glad you reached out to us here. I hope it brings you some comfort.
You are strong enough to keep the SHing at bay, you are strong enough to handle this. Keep your head up, reach out for help and breathe. HUGS


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