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    It's been suggested that we leave a space between the start of a post and the triggering part.

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    penguie posted:
    ugh! My poor brain has been on overdrive and did something on weekend that shocked me. Emailed old dietitian with struggles I have been having. Heard back today. DUnno if she remembers me since used a new email address and did it through her website but she suggests trying an assessment jjust to see where thigns truly are at.
    Being back here is difficult. Ran into my old therapist a few times already out on campus (where hospital is of course my dumb luck!). AWKWARD! Lost count of how many times he and the doc here had me admitted how many years ago
    Anyhow the lonliness here is strong and depression coming back on. Hard to go out and do things when most activites shut down in the summer and well rowing is ahrd because it has been toooooo HOT!!! I hate this heat. But when I was home the other weekend a few friends expressed concern upon seeing me. Apparently losing weight again. A fair amount perhaps. It feels good, I wanna drop more before my trip and trying to justify it. Really I am jsut eating what I want....I cant have that because it will trigger a migraine....oooh Im too tired to even make anything veggies sounds good etc etc....and I wont mention other behaviours in all regards I am struggling. Havent done anything but its hard....
    sigh.....sould I go ahead and make appt? Will it be awkward as it is running into old T? UGH!!!! Can someone please remove my brain? We can just put it back in when I have to go to work and remove it at all otehr times. May even help with the pesky migraines.....
    Kate_Te responded:
    I'm sorry you're in the heat....that might be part of your migraines - one of the reasons I get them is if I get dehydrated. As to whether or not you should see your old dietitian: How triggering will it be for you? Did she ever hospitalize you? Is there another dietitian you can see?

    I'm sorry I didn't answer any questions for you just gave you more. If you are losing weight & people are noticing, you should probably see a dietitian if not your old one then a new one.

    jankearney123 replied to Kate_Te's response:
    HEY YOU'VE BEEN DEALING with this a long time and have come a long way. def see whomerver it is that will help you help yourself. sometimes we just don't give ourselves p;ermission but you have so its ok J give yourself permission to follow thru.
    i get migraines too and on a preventative med neurontin and it helps a lot. def heat makes it really bad for me too even if i'm hydrated. earlier in the summer i was outside in 75 degree weather without humidiity and i got the auras heat exhaustion and a migraine and it only took a half hour and i was in the shade most of the time.
    i want my brain unplugged too............

    penguie responded:
    [TRIGGER] ED triggers ahead

    just giving a little bit of warning before start typing just in case. Wound up with day off work with pay and at least half a day tomorrow hehehe, gotta luv it when the machine breaks and it is in our union contract that we get paid yay!!! So that is my little happy dance

    now the possibly triggery stuff:

    food has been difficult. Even on preventatives my migraines have been bad but they are flaring this year. I knw the weather to not be of help. But worse I am finding myself mroe and more sensitive to foods. One of my huge triggers that can put me into an instant migraine is soya. And more and more soya this and soya that is being used in products. And if not soya then some other additive or enhancer aka MSG. Really it seems all I am able to eat as of late is chicken, veggies and yogurt. And my coffee of course Not a red meat eater and allergic to all things fish and really do not care for pork "the other white meat" my blank! Sigh so veggies fruit and chicken. Yay! Very easy to get sick of that. May as welll be back on the BRAT diet. But I do not eat bananas and cannot cook rice successfully to save my life and toasat well the soya in breads is getting to me. Apple sauce anyone? Bah!I could bake bread I guess apart from the fact it has been so hot I am already running my AC unit between 65 and 68 so I dont need an over at 400. Can you toast lettuce?
    Still undecided if should give her a call or not to book an appointment. Fear food records and knowing actual weight could be triggering. As is my brain says I can easily lose 40lbs safely . Then the debates start again and I either wwant to purge what I have eaten or engage in razor behaviours.

    Feels hopeless....damned if do and damned if dont. Perhaps I should lose a bit mroe weight and see? Consider it then?...ugh!!!! Remove my head!!!! SVP!!!!
    Kate_Te replied to penguie's response:
    I don't know if there is Soya in ice cream, but can you eat that? I know when I'm hot a large bowl of Ice Cream kicks butt! What about deli meats? Again, I don't know what's in them that may trigger a migraine, I'm just trying to think of foods you can eat without cooking them.

    It's not hopeless, you may just have to buy organic everything.

    Hope this in some way hopes. At least knowing someone cares if nothing else.

    Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to penguie's response:
    We have so many food sensitivities in my family, it's ridiculous. I am allergic to so many foods that what I can actually eat is severely limited too, so I know how that can be, Penguie. I have found that the more natural, the better, the more I cook for myself, the more I can find ways to enhance flavors with things that don't get boring. But it's a constant learning process.

    My older son reacts severely to any dairy, to soya and MSG, to some fruits and berries and some veggies. So he's limited too. And my daughter-in-law has celiac and diabetes type 1. They've found the same thing.... cooking for one's self, being creative, can help. It's a challenge though, I know.

    I hope you'll pursue getting a therapist involved to help keep you safe and then make that appointment and I hope the person helps you through this in case it is triggering. It sounds like you know you need help and that you need to start taking steps now to keep yourself safe. (((hugs)))
    You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
    ~Christopher Robin to Pooh

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