Self Harm Community

I totally forgot to put trigger, trigger, trigger, I thought about as I was writing it but forgot to put the space in......
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..............WARNING MOST LIKELY WILL TRIGGER.......
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thank you for putting trigger, when I wrote that last night, the whole time I keep saying dont forget the put trigger, then I posted it and realized I forgot. I hate when I do that. I never know if what Im writing will or will not hurt someone, thats the last thing I want to do.


I cant believe that Pdoc said that to you. Nothing like being blunt, love the bedside manner.



thank you fran for offering me to email but I really feel worthless right now. I tried contacting someone this morning but I guess what I wrote is not worth getting a reply back. I keep telling myself she is busy instead of believing what everyone says about her. In my heart I believe she is busy my head keeps hearing what people have said. After these past few months I really dont know what or who to believe anymore. I try so hard not to dwell on what people think about me or what they are thinking at all. I used to be able to handle it and just let it roll off my back. Something has gotten to me and I cant let things go anymore. Ive been trying to study for a test on Wednesday all day but its sooo hard to focus. My thoughts have been multiplying over and over again. Some the same thoughts, then comes in new ones. I really cant take it anymore. I took too many classes this summer, Im on overload. I really just want to throw up my hands and give up right now, on school, work, life.

I will save the email address, there is still little hope inside of me but its slowly fading. Maybe in a few days I will feel different and email you. You have been so kind and thoughtful to me, thank you.

Kate

awhhhhhhhkate ((((((((((((((((Kate)))))))))))))))))

I just want you to know how rare it is for me to give my email out. I think i could help you and i would like to be your friend. I know how hard it is at our age to find friends.

Did i say the meetup.com? I'm going to try that one of these days when my plate isn't so full if i remember duh?!

yeah i got rid of that pdoc andnow i have one who cares! a lot! Ya know I don't advocate getting drunk because i tcan lead to some serious problems with sh sometimes but i tell you haveing two strong margaritas and my meds really turned me around today;. don't know why?" but also it made me take careof my serious wounds and i've take care of myself today i only hope you can do the same for yourself.

I just wanted to add that are you sure that person who told you these things is correct?

Sometimes I've been told such things too and, it would turn out, it's the ones saying others are using me who don't have my best interests in mind when they're telling me. (Hope that made sense.) It's easy for us to believe though, isn't it, because we have a hard time believing others really want to be in our lives.

So who to believe? You. If you get something out of various relationships, keep them around even if others don't understand. If you do not, then let them go.

(((softhugs)))

Hi Caprice,
I understood what you meant. I do believe the person who spoke to me, I have felt it for a long time now about how I was being treated but my thoughts and feelings are all over place that I didnt trust what I was feeling.

It is true, there is a relationship I have with someone in my life now but I know its not going to last, it will come to an end and I dont want too. Its eating at me. I want to keep them in my life.

Have to go, at work, want to write more
Kate

((((Kate))))

Kate-

I understand your pain! I've often been used by people. As a matter of fact my "best friend" really only calls me when she needs something. I can't remember the last time she called and asked me to go out or even just hang out. Definitely before I had my breakdown (almost 2 years ago now). I let it go on just to have a friend - pretty pathetic I know.

When she isn't needing me for something, she's telling me how I can fix my mental issues (you just need to....). It's one of the reasons I started posting on here. To speak honestly to people about my issues without the negative feedback I seem to get from everyone in my life.

I long for a human being who accepts me and just wants to be friends. I completely understand your loneliness.

((((Kate))))

thank you for understanding Kate_Te, Im sorry you had to experience that, Ive done things just to have a friend too. These are boards have been a tremendous help to me too, so has people like your self that understand and encourage me. It makes life a little more bearable.

Kate

thank you it really does help. Sometimes a hug is all I need.

((((((((((((KATE)))))))))))))))))))))

((((((((((((((KATE_TE))))))))))))))))

i've done things to keep friends too and did a lot of stuff believe me. I've let a lot of people go too. One of whom I'm thinking of letting go again. Let her go once might let her go twice? Anyone want her for thrice? Hee hee

i dunno i've been so volatile they changed my meds this afternoon and might have to bight the bullet and go back on the injection. ugh! and expensive.

Kate Hang in there. Remember something like i should be sayikng to myself..........Tomorrow is a new day and with it you just never know what can happen? c/b something wonderful.

I don't know if ya'll believe in the power of prayer but i'm going to pray for you two and everyone here which i always do but i call them my web md peeps but i'm going to list ya'll out in the morning.........but for the night you two kates and myself i'm going to concentrate on and i think otw and dem and bonnie and paja and kitty and lovely and caprice and anyone else i will say who needs a prayer to help them have the courage to forge on and have the strength to get thru the day trying to have the best day they can. I will also right now say the serentity prayer. God.............Grant us the serentity to accept the things we cannot change Courage to change the things we can and THE WISDOM to know the difference. amen girls