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DOGDANCING_TCOS posted:
[TRIGGER]
  • *************************************** *************************************** ************************** ************************************************ ****

    I need to tell my husband I am going to hurt myself. I have reached the end if my ability to cope with everything. car accidnet, lowered thyroid dose, masses in my breast, Mom dying.

    she was a better mom to me than my mama. my daughter will not remember her. I greive that she will never get to know her, only know what she is told about her.

    sad she lived so far away that she rarely got to see them. she took pictures of grandma at her great grandpa's funeral in July. I dumped her camera's pictures before they got down loaded. those can't be replaced.

    i want/need to burn, but so afraid if I start it will get ugly, there is a lot on the SIV scale that needs accounted for. want to hit the body with a weapon till its number. tires of feel ing like my soul is ahnging out draggin on ht eground

    we are offten gon in lost
    I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.
  • Reply
     
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    MandyCake responded:
    DDT,

    Please take that "need" to tell the husband to the next level of doing so...

    You do have alot on your plate and it is understandable why you feel as you do.

    Please reach out to him and crisis and let them be there to help you through all of this.

    Praying for you.
    Bonnie
    If I could have one day and have that day be very windy and choose what I wished to be... I'd be a Kite and fly free...

    In Harmony,
    Bonnie
     
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    bubbles_bobble replied to MandyCake's response:
    Grieving is a very difficult process. Allow yourself the loss Paja. Grieve her and allow your children to see you grieve her. Does that mean you have to sh NO. It means you cry, and you tell stories about her to your children and you do something special for the services i.e. if she had special flowers or a color she liked put that on top or inside the casket or if cremated put something around the urn with flowers or a colored ribbon. get a book on grief from the library and read it and just like you did with sh and wrote a book journal and maybe in your blog you can write about this chapter of your life coming to an end as you know it now but looking forward to a continuounance somewhere else.

    God speed Paja and take care of yourself! I'm praying for you and your family. I wish you all the best. It's so hard when we loose the ones we love the most. I know I've lost so many close aunts and uncles and I had a huge family!

    huggers if wanted f
    One day at a time
     
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    Kate_Te replied to bubbles_bobble's response:
    Paja -
    I hope you do tell your husband. I hope you are allowed to grieve. I like what BB says above about grieving. I understand the loss of a mother, it can be devastating. Take your time, grieve however you need to & show your children how much you cared.
    You are in my prayers.
     
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    Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
    Did you tell your husband? How are you doing this week, Paja?

    I lost my beloved mother-in-law when my sons were young. My younger son doesn't remember her at all. But she still lives within us all and I share stories about her all the time with not just them but with my daughter-in-law. How she was as a mother-in-law and grandmother is my example. I use the same grandparent name as she did and hope I treat my own DIL as well as my MIL treated me. And I will ensure my own grandchildren know who she is and her legacy of kindness.

    I am so sorry for your loss. (((softsafehugs)))
    You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
    ~Christopher Robin to Pooh
     
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    DOGDANCING_TCOS replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
    I am very very fragmented and dissociated. Too much for me to handle so TcoS are all doing what they do best and we are getting stuff done. Me and the daughter are sick so today was spent taking her to doctors. I only got 2.75 hrs of sleep so had to call to work, not safe to drive that.

    so tommorrow will be the shift from hell as I MUST have my work done before I leave for the funeral.

    the only redeming thing today was I got assassins creed and someday I hope to get to play it. when my arm is better.
    I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.
     
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    MandyCake replied to DOGDANCING_TCOS's response:
    DDT,

    One step at a time and only do that which you are able to do. Do not spread yourself so thin that you get lost in the wind... Lean on hubby....

    Hugs,
    Bonnie
    If I could have one day and have that day be very windy and choose what I wished to be... I'd be a Kite and fly free...

    In Harmony,
    Bonnie
     
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    Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to DOGDANCING_TCOS's response:
    ((((((((((((((((((((Paja))))))))))))))))))))

    Thinking of you.
    You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
    ~Christopher Robin to Pooh
     
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    lostkate responded:
    Paja,

    I am so sorry to hear of your Mom and the struggles you are going through right now.

    When I lost my Mom it was so hard on me and my kids. Give yourself time to heal.

    Please be safe.

    Hugs
    Kate


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